Eat, Drink, Read, Watch, Sleep

Writer's Block: When I Was Young

2009-06-23T17:52:14Z

What do you miss most about being a kid?

Right now, I miss the reset button. With obligations and responsibilities, that I’m not certain I can meet, piling up and swaying precariously around me, what I miss most is the clean slate that came at the end of every school quarter, semester, and summer break.

Pass or fail. Win or lose. All the pressure to get everything done vanished at regular increments. Sure, a giant history report on Australia’s convict population would be assigned before the report cards made their way into Mom and Dad’s hands, but that was due waaaaay in the furture, like, four weeks. Plenty of time to breathe deeply and owe nothing to the world but a made bed and a picked up room.

Ok, I hardly ever made my bed and only cleaned my room if I wanted to put off starting a gargantuan history report.

Ah! Life was good.

Never the Same Again, Smallville Fanfic, Doomsday Fix

2009-06-22T01:51:43Z

Title: Never the Same Again

Genre: Doomsday fix

Pairings: Future chapters Chlark, this chapter: left over Chimmy, one-sided Chlavis.

Rating: PG13 (for violence and character deaths)

Prolog: Tragedy in the Tower

Summary: Picks up in season eight’s Doomsday right after Jimmy and Chloe kiss. Chloe realizes her marriage needs to stay over. Jimmy, though he had been hired by Oliver, never kicked his drug addictions. Davis makes his choice. After this prolog, the main story will deal with the aftermath of this night and the heavy toll that has been placed on Chloe and Clark's friendship.

“Jimmy no, wait. This isn’t right. I can’t do this again.” Chloe turned her head, evading the familiar kiss and pushed against Jimmy’s chest. Instead of releasing her, he tightened his grip on her arms and attempted to mash his mouth harder against her lips. “Jimmy!” She cried in surprise and irritation. “Stop it. I said no.” She began struggling more vigorously as she felt his fingers dig painfully into her flesh. “You’re hurting me.” Suddenly he was pulled back and spun away.

“She said no.”

Jimmy raised his hand and pointed his finger at Davis. “Stay out of this. This is none of your business. You’ve already messed things up enough as it is.”

“You’re the one that’s messed up. Your pupils are dilated, your hands shaking. Are you on something or coming off something?” Davis stayed between Jimmy and Chloe.

“Great,” Jimmy savagely grinned, “judgment from the Cornfield Killer. I ought to turn you over to the police myself.” He pushed Davis and tried to twist around him, but Davis grabbed him around the middle and held him back.

“Jimmy!” Chloe’s outrage penetrated whatever fog was settling over his reason and he stopped struggling. “Davis, it’s ok.” Davis scowled, clearly not happy, but trusting Chloe, he let go and backed off a few paces. Jimmy sent Davis a dirty look and eagerly reached for Chloe.

“No stop.” Chloe held up her palm to ward him off. He listened this time and halted a couple feet in front of her. Davis watched warily from the sides, shifting side-to-side, ready to intervene if needed.

“I don’t get it Chlo.” Jimmy blinked in confusion. “Everything can go back to the way it should be.” A whine crept into his tone. “You said that you never wanted to leave me, that you missed me.”

“I did, I do miss you. I hated how things ended between us, hated seeing you walk out of my life, but I can’t go back.” Chloe bit her lip in misery. “I’m sorry I gave you the wrong idea. I shouldn’t have kissed you. This place is amazing and for a moment everything felt so familiar, so simple, but it’s not enough, I can’t let it be, things have changed.”

A snarl curled his lip. “What’s changed? Him?” His disgust was palatable.

“No, no, this has nothing to do with Davis.”

Jimmy’s hands fisted at his sides and something ugly flashed in his eyes as he shook his head. The muscles on his jaw clenched tightly against it, but a mirthless laugh escaped anyway. “Clark? Is this still about Clark?” Abruptly his voice turned pleading. “But everything is different now. I know now. I understand and I can forgive you.” He held out his hand and took a step toward her. “We can start a brand new life right here.”

Chloe warily took a step back. Like a hundred times before, Jimmy was saying what her head told her were the right words, but this time Chloe was listening to her gut. As often as he tried to say or do the right thing, he would never be right for her. “Jimmy, I’m so sorry, but I can’t do that.”

With her words, he reverted to the snarling stranger. “You married me!” Jimmy spit out the fact like an accusation.

Chloe heard the echo of their humiliating break up in the hospital hallways and felt the sting anew. Her spine stiffened and some of her sympathy ebbed away. “And you divorced me,” she answered coolly. She took a breath and tried to continue more calmly. She had loved him as best she could. She didn’t want their relationship to end in bitterness again. “I would have tried to make our marriage work,” she tried to explain, “but you were right. I can’t give you what you need and I can no longer pretend otherwise”

Jimmy closed his eyes and shook his head in denial. His trembling increased and the sweaty sheen to his skin was more pronounced than before. “No.” He said softly, still shaking his head. “No.” He said again, becoming louder and more agitated. “You can’t do this to me.” He shouted with his eyes still screwed tightly shut.

“Jimmy, you’re obviously not yourself right now.” Chloe closed the gap between them and tried to lay a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, but he reacted to her touch as if he had been burned.

“Get the hell away from me,” he roared, shoving her arm away with enough force to cause her to stumble. “Don’t touch me.”

Davis rushed forward to steady her before she could fall. He looked over his shoulder at Jimmy. “You need to back off.”

Jimmy laughed, a choked, bitter sound. “What? You think you are any better off? You’re a fool. A monster pretending to be a man. She doesn’t love you,” he sneered. “Weren’t you listening? She did it all for Clark.”

Pain raced over Davis’s face, but he fought for control of his emotions. “She never lied to me,” he forced past the tightness in his throat. “I hoped, maybe in time...” He looked down at Chloe, still clutching her shoulders, the yearning in his eyes a palatable force.

“Davis I do care for you, but…,” Chloe was interrupted by a keening sound of rage.

“Look at ME, damn it!” Jimmy grabbed a metal pipe leaning against the wall and used it to smash a section of the stained glass behind him. Many of the colored shards flew back and hit the concrete floors, sounding like a wind chime in a hurricane.

“Jimmy!” Chloe cried out, pushing Davis away. “You need to calm down.”

He spun around, fury glinting in his eyes. “Don’t you talk to me! You don’t know what I need.”

“I know what you need,” Davis told Jimmy, stepping around Chloe and putting himself between her and her ex-husband. “I’ve seen it a hundred times. You’re crashing and jonesing so badly you can’t think straight.” He took a tentative step toward him and then another. “Just put the pipe down and we can get you help.”

Jimmy squinted and blinked, like he was trying to focus on what Davis was saying. He wiped at his perspiring brow with that back of his shaky hand and for a moment, seemed to be considering the offer. He shut his eyes and gave his head a hard shake. When he reopened his eyes, in their depths madness swirled and found new focus.

Jimmy pointed his finger at Davis. “Monster!” He raised the iron pole like a baseball bat and took a step in his direction.

“Jimmy no!” Chloe cried.

“Olsen! You don’t want to do this.” Dave slowly drew back toward the winding stairs.

“Yes, I do.” Jimmy ground out. He swung at Davis’s head, missing by inches, the metal bar reverberating off a corner of the stairs instead. “This is all your fault.”

Davis backed into a left behind stepladder, grabbed it and tossed it into Jimmy’s path. He batted it away easily, sending it crashing off to side. He took another swing at Davis, forcing him to leap back and leaving him corralled in the corner. Jimmy flexed his fingers around the pole resting against his shoulder and calmly announced, “You destroyed my life, now I’m going to destroy yours.”

“Jimmy, stop it!” Chloe screamed helplessly as he swung at Davis a third time. On the down swing, Davis grabbed a hold of the rod, wrenching it out of Jimmy’s hands, the force spinning Jimmy around. Jimmy let the momentum fling him back and Chloe gasped in horror as three metal pipes snaking up out of the floor cleanly impaled him through the middle.

Blood, black, thick, and viscous oozed out of the corner of his mouth and his body twitched violently. In the seconds before his eyes went lifeless, he grinned like the devil, the scarlet of his blood staining his teeth and gagging him as he choked out one final word. “Mons..ter.”

Frozen, Chloe felt her breath hitch, unable to believe Jimmy was dead.

Davis swayed in front of Jimmy’s body, still gripping the jagged ended metal rod he wrenched from Jimmy’s hands. “What have I done?” Horror and revulsion left him pale and unsteady, tears welling in his eyes. “No, no,” he moaned in anguish. “I won’t go back. I won’t be the monster. No, no, not now.”

The despair in Davis’s voice broke through Chloe’s shock to trigger new panic. “Davis, it was an accident.” She took a step toward him, alarmed to see the corrosive sorrow contorting his features.

“Stay away from me Chloe,” he shouted. “I’m dangerous. You are right not to love me.

“No,” she said firmly, coming closer, until they were only an arms length apart. “Davis, you know I care for you.”

A parody of a smile wryly twisted his lips. “But you don’t love me. Something in you must know.” His gaze returned to Jimmy’s fallen form.

“How I feel isn’t your fault. Jimmy isn’t your fault.” She insisted, desperate for him to understand.

Davis stared transfixed at Jimmy’s body, not hearing her. “It’s what they created for me to be,” he said in disgust. “I’m just a weapon, a destroyer, a murderer, an abomination, a...a monster,” his voice broke on the final word, and wetness spilled down his cheeks.

“No, that’s not true.” His hopelessness clawed at her insides. She could hear it in his voice; he was giving up. She felt hot tears well up in her eyes. She tried reasoning with him. “You’ve been separated from Doomsday.” She choked back a sob. “Please!” She begged him to listen. “You can do anything you want. You’re free now, free to make your own choices.”

He jerked his head to look at her, then at the sharp pole in his hand, and again at Chloe’s desperate, pleading green eyes. His furrowed brow smoothed out, and he exhaled on a long steady breath. “I’m so glad I met you Chloe. It doesn’t matter how you feel about me, because loving you gives me the strength to make my own choices.” He reached out with his hand and brushed back a strand of her silky hair that had fallen over her forehead. Hope appeared in her eyes.

“I will not be what they want me to be,” he vowed. Taking a step back from Chloe, he nodded and said, “I choose death,” and rammed the spike through his cardio pulmonary system.

“No!!!!!” Chloe cried, dropping to his side as his knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor. Her hands fluttered helplessly around his wound, the iron pipe sticking out from his body cavity at a grotesque angle. She knew she couldn’t remove it without inflicting even more harm. “Oh Davis, why, why?”

“It’s ok,” he crooned and moved his hand to brush against hers.

She grabbed it up tightly in both of her hands. “No, no, it’s not ok.”

“Yes,” he insisted, fighting against the pain, “this is good.” He groaned. “This is mine.”

Her tears fell hot and heavy. “I tried, I tried to save you,” she sobbed while rocking and holding his hand to her face.

“You…did.” He gasped and coughed, leaving flecks of foamy blood clinging to his lower lip. “You did… save me.” A beautiful smile curved his mouth and lit his soft chocolate eyes. “I’ll never again…be a… mons..ter.” A shudder went through his body and his head slumped to the side.

“Davis, Davis.” She called his name in denial, but his hand was slack in hers and his chest did not move.

Chloe looked from Davis to where Jimmy lay impaled and then out through the shattered window. From her vantage high on the hill, she could see fires dotting the city, burning brighter than the dawning morning sun. Hours had passed since Clark went after Doomsday.

Was Clark somewhere out there in Metropolis, still battling an unconquerable creature born for destruction?

Or, had Clark also lost his fight?

Unable to hold her agony inside any longer, Chloe tipped back her head and let her wild wails of grief echo down over her city.

Smile, part 2 (D/V Month of Love Challenge

2009-02-03T00:41:58Z

Month of Love Challenge
Title: Smile
Pairing: Daniel and Vala
Rating: PG
Summary: Team is relaxing together at a bar after a mission. Sam catches on.
Part 2

Vala remained engrossed in making selections on the bar’s Wurlitzer. The machine was a reproduction and so played CD’s instead of records but from what Cam had informed him, while the song selections dipped back into the Fifty’s, they didn’t rise out of the early 90’s.

Still, most of the songs were new to Vala. Most were new to Daniel as well. Some though, were hard to have missed, like the one currently way oh way ohing over the sound system. In spite of himself, another smile curved his lips. Daniel suspected “Walk Like an Egyptian” was chosen in his honor.

Color from the bubbling tubes arching around the top of the Jukebox bathed Vala’s face in a succession of neon blues, greens, and yellows; alternately casting her mood in somber to sunny tones. The changing lights reminded him of how Vala kept altering place in his life, refusing to be just a problem, or a means to an end, or a colleague, or even simply a friend. Try as he might, he couldn’t relegate Vala to an easily identifiable niche.

He had led a solitary life since childhood, always slightly apart from those around him, but Sha’re and his year on Abydos taught him what he was missing. As a member of SG1, he’d found friends and, yes, a sort of family; a family that had understood his need to get lost in his research as a way to shut out the pain of a daily world where hope was tested, tried, and eventually broken. Each of them: Jack, Sam, Teal’c and himself, all had wounds the rest of the team respected as off limits.

Somewhere along the way, the distance he had once needed just to survive started working against him. He too often played it safe instead of risking his personal emotions. He could be impassioned about the ills of the universe without risking that kicked in the gut, how am I supposed to keep breathing feeling. Time healed to an extent and while his rebuilt walls left him stronger and kept him safe from a debilitating pain, they also kept out a true measure of joy, the kind found only between two people.

Vala brought back the joy. It was that simple and that complicated.

He leaned back and took a sip of beer, not tasting the yeasty brew and continued to watch the woman who crashed into his life, and when he wasn’t looking, through all his walls. With a high kick, she entered his world, catapulted him out of his comfort zone and dropped him into a conflicting morass of feeling.

From that first encounter, there had been an attraction, a kind of fascination, and even weaved among the lies and hair pulling frustration, a seed of a shared connection he scarcely admitted to himself. Nevertheless, when she unexpectedly returned to his life, he couldn’t ignore the connection existed. Nothing had been the same since.

Vala did not respect boundaries or rather her definition of what those boundaries should be was very different. Whether he’d initially liked her seemingly overly familiar tendencies or not, they forced him to see the pieces missing from his life. For a long time, a combination of fear and stubbornness kept him from realizing or admitting Vala was the one who matched his empty spaces.

The trip to Atlantis had been as much about gaining distance and perspective as unlocking another mystery of the Ancients. He’d come home thinking about regrets and choices, lost opportunities, the brevity and unpredictability of life and the courage needed to tell someone how you really feel.

The lesson was still good today.

Daniel set his beer aside and walked to dark corner where Vala stood. She glanced up to see him coming. “Ah, Daniel, perfect. I’ve already picked something called “Yakity Yak” for Teal’c, you know, the irony and “Danger Zone” for Mitchell from that movie he likes with Katie Holms’ husband before he was a couch jumper.”

She tapped a finger against the glass protecting the song lists. “However, for Sam I can’t decide between “Maneater”, which I can only assume has little to do with cannibalism or the more obvious choice, “She Blinded Me with Science”. What do you think?” Daniel hesitated and Vala nodded. “Ok, Blinded Me with Science it is.”

She punched in the final code number on her selection as Daniel stepped close behind her, wrapped an arm around her waist and dropped a kiss on the nape of her neck.

“Daniel!” She hissed in a whisper, twisting to see if the rest of the team was watching. “Someone might see.”

He wrapped his other arm around her middle and rested his chin on her shoulder. “Would that really be so bad?”

“What?” Vala turned around in his arms to face him, her hands falling lightly on his chest. “I don’t understand.”

“She figured us out. Sam. She knows about you and me.”

“I didn’t say a thing, I swear. I told you,” she said with a poke to his chest, “I told you that you were smiling too much.”

The crease between his eyes deepened, “It doesn’t matter how she found out, but hasn’t this gone on long enough?”

Vala stiffened. “What are you saying?”

“We both knew carrying on like this could only be temporary.” He shook his head. “I know I’ve had my fill.” Vala flinched within his arms. “It’s been three months. That’s long enough.”

“Long enough?” She echoed incredulously.

“We work together, we sleep together, and with the exception of nights in the field, we are practically always together.”

“And you’re saying you need space,” she stated, her tone dark and silky smooth.

Daniels eyebrows shot up. “Space? What?” His head jerked back. “No. No. What are you talking about?”

“Me?” She stiffened indignantly. “You’re the one trying to break us up.” Vala crossly blew a loose strand of midnight hair out of her eyes. “Well, I won’t have it,” she informed him, stamping her foot for emphasis and then clenching her fists in the front of his navy blue t-shirt. “We’ve been good together. I’m not going to let you throw us away just because Sam found out and you are panicking.”

“Vala.”

“No. Don’t you Vala me. I’m not…mmmhhm.” He silenced her with a deep kiss, using one hand to hold the side of her jaw and the other to knead the tense muscles in her neck. She made a tiny humming noise in the back of her throat. He pulled back after a moment and rested his forehead against hers.

“I’m not trying to break up with you. I’m not looking for space. I’m not panicking because Sam found out.”

“You’re not?”

He trailed the tips of his fingers around the curve of her cheek and raised his melting blue eyes to hers. “Vala, I’ve never felt surer of anything. You and I, we’re here to stay. Got that?” In answer, she pushed up on her tiptoes, flung her arms around his neck and melted against him, not coming up for air until she wrenched a groan out of him. Somewhat mindful of their surroundings, she contented herself with that for now.

“So what were you saying?” She linked her hands lightly behind his neck and peered up at him expectantly. Daniel groaned a second time, but following her lead resettled his hands on her waist and returned to the original topic.

“Sam knows. I want the rest of our friends to know. I want the rest of the base to know.”

She bit her lip anxiously. “If we asked her, Sam wouldn’t say anything. Are you sure this is the right time?”

“Three months of missions should be enough to prove we can work together while in a relationship. Vala, I don’t want to plan a weekend using code words. I’m tired of sneaking back to a cold room at precisely 4:45am in order to take advantage of security being distracted during their habitual third donut run and I don’t,” he paused and reached for Vala’s hand, bringing it to his lips before holding it over his heart. “And I don’t want to have to stop and remember where I am before deciding if I get to hold your hand.”

Vala sighed dreamily. “Daniel, that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

An impish grin tugged at his lips. “Well Valentine’s Day is coming up in thirteen,” he glanced at his watch and noted it was well past midnight, “no, make that in twelve days.”

She leaned forward to nibble on his lower lip and murmured, “Decided to brush up a little bit?”

“A little bit.” He murmured back before placing a kiss on her forehead. “So we tell everyone? No more hiding?”

“Sounds wonderful to me.”

He gave her hand a little squeeze. “Letting everyone know still doesn’t mean making out in the halls.” A twinkle appeared in her eyes.

“How about in your office?” He raised an eyebrow. “My office?” She offered instead.

“You don’t have an office.”

“About that…wait,” she pulled back, “you said twelve days until Valentine’s Day. That makes today Feb the 2nd. Isn’t that some holiday in of its self?”

Daniel cocked his head to the side. “I don’t know if I’d call Groundhog’s Day a true holiday.”

“Groundhog’s Day, yes, I know all about Groundhog’s Day,” she excitedly told him. “Mitchell picked it for movie night. Something about a large rodent with bad teeth and doing the same thing over and over until you get it right?”

“That was the movie. The actual Groundhog’s Day tradition originates with sixteenth century German settlers and a tradition known as Candlemas Day which fell halfway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. Superstition held that if the weather was fair, the second half of winter would be cold and stormy.

Interestingly enough Candlemas Day has an early origin in the Celtic celebration of Imbolc, which literally means “in the belly of the mother”, while its original term, Oimelc, translates as “ewe’s milk” or “the feast of ewe’s milk”. Both refer to the turning of winter to spring, as marked by the first milk of ewes as lambs begin to be born aaannnnd you really don’t care, do you?”

She patted his cheek indulgently. “Darling the sound of your voice always does lovely things to my insides, but I think I prefer my understanding of the holiday.”

“A large bucktoothed rodent and doing something over and over?”

She tipped her head back and pretended to ponder the question seriously. “I don’t feel the rodent aspect contributes all that much. How about if we just stick to practicing over and over?”

“Did you have something in mind?” He asked with a sparkle in his eye and a dare on his lips.

“I’m willing to start here.” She grabbed the collar of his leather jacket and pulled him closer, diving into the hot depths of his mouth.

“Until we get it right huh?” He panted.

“I can’t say we’ve ever gotten it wrong,” she answered while pressing kisses to the underside of his jaw, “but still, due diligence is important.”

“Essential.” He intoned while tilting his head so she had better access.

“Vital.” She agreed while testing the strong chord in his neck with her teeth.

“Well, in the spirit of the holiday...”

**** ***** *****

“Nerves getting to you?” Sam teased from the sidelines. Cam was down to his last dart. Unless he completely missed the board, he actually would beat Teal’c for once.

“Nerves? Ha! There is nothing you or anyone can do or say that will make me blow this. I’m just savoring the moment.”

He took careful aim at the dartboard and just as he pulled back to release his missile, Teal’c spoke. “The music has stopped, Colonel Mitchell.” The dart clipped the edge of the target and clattered to the floor. Groans went up in the crowd and wager money was passed to the victors.

Colonel Cameron Mitchell paid the disappointed no heed and instead listened intently in the direction of the now silent speaker. “Crap. I don’t hear music either.” Keeping his head fixed on the dartboard in front of him, he asked casually, “Are they at the table?”

Teal’c turned his head slightly to the right. “They are not.”

Cam rubbed at his forehead. “Tell me they’re over at the bar.”

“I cannot do so Colonel Mitchell.”

Cam dropped head to his chest. “They’re making out by the Jukebox again, aren’t they?”

“Indeed.”

“Who?” Sam strained to see past the crowd still encircling the dartboard. She caught a glimpse of Daniel leaning Vala back against the Jukebox, one hand caught up in her hair and the other anchored around her waist. Vala’s arms were entwined about his neck and both were completely oblivious to any speculative looks. “Oh my.”

Someone in the crowd shifted and she lost sight of the pair. She pointed in their direction. “This has happened before? I thought no one else was supposed to know.”

“Seriously? Even ignoring that this is the third,”

“Fourth.” Teal’c interjected.

“Thank you, fourth time the Daniel and Vala show played before a live audience, how am I supposed to not know when we’ve got Jackson wandering the halls wearing a grin plastered on his face?” He shook his head morosely. “I think he even was humming last week.”

Teal’c nodded sagely. “Happy Together. As originally performed by the Turtles.” Mitchell slid him a long concerned look.

“Does Landry know?” Sam asked wide-eyed.

Mitchell snorted. “The man’s not blind or deaf and besides, the General is required to keep track of all,” he looked around at the spectators nearby and chose his words carefully, “of all non-native personnel signing in and out of Cheyenne Mountain. He knows.”

“And there isn’t a problem with them working together?”

“Please. I have bigger problems when I keep them apart. As long as they keep that,” he jerked his thumb toward the far corner of the bar, “off base or at least mostly out of sight, nobody cares. Correction, almost nobody cares.” He caught Teal’c’s eye and warned, “Trouble’s headed for our lovebirds from 5 o’clock.”

Sam craned her neck and spotted what had Cameron concerned. Four men, each the size of a side of beef and not generally better looking, stood at the bar pointing and sneering. The meanest of the lot knocked back a double shot of bourbon and prodded his group toward the corner. “Oh boy.” Sam frowned.

“Something wrong?”

“No, just that the one in the back, he’s part of the reason we were banned from the bar the first time around.”

A wide grin spit his face. “Really?” He asked with glee, rubbing his hands together. “Teal’c, pack up your mug. Time to reenact another old SG1 tradition.”

The End.

Smile - D/V Month of Love Challenge, part 1

2009-02-03T00:38:32Z

Month of Love Challenge
Title: Smile
Pairing: Daniel and Vala
Rating: PG
Summary: Team is relaxing together at a bar after a mission. Sam catches on.
Part 1

Daniel threw his head back and let the mirth tear out unchecked. Teal’c contended himself with a twitch of the lips and a suspiciously long swig of his beer. Vala leaned back against the faded crimson cushions of the booth and preened; accepting Daniel’s laughter as just reward for her insightful (if completely untranslatable or repeatable) comment about the boorish town magistrate with whom they’d recently completed a trade agreement.

“What? What did she say?” Mitchell asked looking at his team sprawled around the table. Unwinding at McGinty’s after a mission wasn’t a solid habit yet, what with his original command only periodically operating under full numbers, but it was getting there.

Teal’c commuted part time from the newly anointed Jaffa homeworld where his son now lived and Sam, since her stint as commander of Atlantis, was really more of an honorary member of SG1. She joined them on missions when her schedule allowed, but was often called away to DC, Area 51 or was just plain too busy with her own line of research. Even her sporadic participation would end when she eventually took command of her own vessel, the General Hammond.

Of course, Jackson and Vala were fixtures of every mission, forming an unconventional but reliable sub-unit within the team. Combining Jackson’s glib tongue and impassioned beliefs with Vala’s innate BS meter and boundless curiosity created a diplomatic powerhouse for the SGC, one that utilized the pair’s silent shorthand of questioning glances, quirked eyebrows, and tilted heads. Mitchell found their collaboration more remarkable since he wasn’t sure they realized how much each relied on the other, let alone how much the team relied on them.

Ignorant or not, Mitchell had not been able to lure Jackson out to socialize on a regular basis until after the followers of the Ori were neutralized and the last of the system lords and Goa’uld infiltrators of the Trust were eliminated. Moreover, if Jackson wasn’t going, well, Vala coincidentally found herself less interested in the prospect.

Life at the SGC hadn’t exactly settled down, but since Jackson’s return last year from Atlantis to recuperate from yet another brush with death, a post mission session at McGinty’s was suddenly a much easier sell. Maybe Daniel was finally buying into that saying Vala was fond of repeating. She might as well have had “Life is too short” tattooed on her…well, tattooed somewhere.

He glanced over at Jackson, still chortling and wiping at tears in his eyes. Oh, she was rubbing off on him all right. “Seriously guys, what did she say?” Teal’c’s gaze was inscrutable and Jackson was too busy smirking to answer him. Sam watched Daniel with a curious smile. “Sam?” She shrugged and mumbled something about not being familiar with that particular Goa’uld dialect.

Teal’c set down his pewter beer stein; an elaborate affair with hand painted gold banding and an intricate relief of a heavily muscled man defeating a dragon. The proprietors kept the ornate contraption behind the bar for his use alone, a courtesy he was afforded after a brief chat with the bartender. He nodded gravely toward Mitchell. “Indeed. Vala Mal Doran has invoked an obscure Goa’uld adage. One virtually meaningless on earth, contextually being biased against bovine companions and anatomically impossible.”

Peels of laughter rang out from their former space pirate and mingled musically with Sam’s giggles and a howling Daniel Jackson. Mitchell wagged his finger at Teal’c and sputtered, “Wait. That’s… that’s a joke!”

Teal’c merely raised an eyebrow. “Indeed.” Fresh gales of delight rolled over the table’s occupants.

Vala punched Teal’c companionably in the shoulder. “Muscles, I knew you had it in you.” He smiled his enigmatic smile and sipped from the gift she had bestowed upon him when the team regularly began going to McGinty’s again.

“Well it’s just creeping me out and I still don’t understand what she said.” Mitchell tossed back the rest of the beer in his long neck bottle, pushed his chair back from the table, and pointed at the warrior seated across from him in booth section. “Ok funny man; let’s see if you are still amused after I kick your butt in darts.”

“I accept you challenge Cameron Mitchell.” Teal’c rose and went to gather the equipment. Sam snagged Cam’s sleeve when he would have followed.

“Cam, you’ve never beaten Teal’c at darts, not even when Vala had him blindfolded.”

He shrugged. “The big guy is making jokes. Clearly he is off his game.” Cam eagerly rubbed his hands together and called over his shoulder as he walked away, “I’m feeling lucky tonight!”

Vala snorted at his bravado and slid out of the booth too. “This night needs music.” She dug in her small silver sequined clutch and came out with a paper clip, a nickel and a gum wrapper. “Hmm, I thought I had…Daniel, do you have any silver money? Not the little ones with the ridges or the medium ones with a smooth edge, but the other larger one, named after that hamburger.”

He shifted in his seat and pulled a handful of coins out of the front pocket of his jeans. “Hold out your hands,” he instructed. Vala cupped her hands together and caught the cascade of quarters. She beamed at him before sashaying off to the Jukebox.

“Huh,” observed Sam. When Daniel just continued to smile softly at Vala’s back she cleared her throat and repeated herself. “I said, huh.”

He blinked a few times before scrunching up his forehead and swiveling his head around to look at her. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Sam smiled knowingly and shook her head. “Suddenly things are much clearer.”

Daniel paused and took a sip of the beer he’d been nursing all evening. Produced by the country’s second oldest family run brewery, McGinty’s stocked the Minnesota variety specifically for Jack. Daniel didn’t really care for any beer, but he liked the historic connections. “What things?”

Instead of answering his question, she asked her own. “How long have you and Vala been together?”

He looked down at his bottle and picked at the corner of the red label on his Schell’s Original. A wry smile played on his lips, “When haven’t we been together.”

“Daniel, while that might have been your most astute observation, I’m not talking about the oblivious years. I knew you cared for Vala more than you let on back when she was pulled into the Ori galaxy.” He raised an eyebrow, challenging her assertion. “I read the reports. Your collapse wasn’t tied to the separation effect lingering from the bracelets. Not enough time had elapsed. Still,” she shrugged, “It wasn’t until after the Trust kidnapped Vala that I realized how deep you were in denial.”

“It still wasn’t a date,” he insisted matter of fact, “it was just two friends and co-workers…” Sam waved him to silence.

“I’m not referring to your aborted ‘not a date’,” she said making use of air quotes and continuing before he could protest. “The weeks she was missing you never left the base except on the two search missions. You halted research on anything unrelated to Qe’tesh, the Trust, Athena or her mythical treasure and despite all my badgering and nearly a direct order from Landry, I’m fairly certain you never made it back to your quarters to sleep. The decisive factor? At the warehouse you held on like you weren’t planning on letting go and that you didn’t until we were back at the base.”

“It was only her arm, you make it sound…”

“Daniel,” she gently chided.

He smiled and answered her original question, “Since I returned from Atlantis.”

Sam leaned forwarded, her blue eyes shining and squeezed his hand. “I’m very happy for you both.”

“But not surprised obviously,” he said going back to fiddling with the label, slightly embarrassed to be having this conversation. Above them, the strum of a guitar signaled the start of Vala’s first selection. Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places” came out of the speaker and a small shout of approval went around McGinty’s. Vala always began with that song, claiming it staved off any complaints about the selections that followed. If that didn’t work, a few glowering looks from Teal’c did the trick.

“A little surprised I didn’t figure you two out earlier.” Sam leaned back and tucked a shoulder length strand of honey colored hair behind her ear. “And I am very surprised Walter didn’t fill me in on the best SGC gossip.”

“I don’t think that we are together is public knowledge.” Daniel removed his glasses and began polishing the lenses. “We haven’t been exactly broadcasting our relationship.”

“Oh.” Sam chewed on her lip. “If you plan on keeping it under wraps, you need to stop smiling so much.” Daniel smiled in spite of her advice and shook his head.

“We’re not exactly hiding it either.”

Sam frowned. “Explain.”

“We work together.”

“Fraternization restrictions don’t apply to civilians,” she recited.

“Technically true, but if General Landry thought it was a problem, technicalities wouldn’t stop him from making a change. Think of the last few months as a preemptive strike, something we can point to as proof that the changes in our relationship won’t put the team at risk or change our ability to work together.”

“How is that not hiding your relationship?”

“It wouldn’t take much investigation to notice all our free time coincides or that we typically leave the base together. We just decided to maintain a sensible level of decorum around the base.”

“Vala agreed to that?” Sam asked incredulously.

Daniel frowned. “Her idea actually.”

“I imagine you were pleased.”

“Yes, I should be.” He mumbled under his breath, frowning again.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he rushed on. “So Vala hasn’t said anything, done anything?” He trailed off, fishing for information.

“No, nothing. I mean, yes, we’ve talked, but Vala didn’t hint at this at all.”

“Right,” he answered with an edge to his sarcasm that Sam completely missed, “it was my smiling problem that gave us away.”

“Big clue, but really, it was the quarters. Saving up for the Jukebox was very sweet and very much a boyfriend thing.”

A tinge of pink highlighted his cheeks. “I, ah, just picked up a whole roll from payroll.”

Sam got to her feet and gave him a peck on the cheek, “Like I said, sweet.” She gestured toward the small ring of observers forming around the dart area. “I think I’ll go check and see how the contest is going.” Daniel let her go without comment, his attention immediately going to the dark, far corner of the bar.

Smile: Part 2.

Smallville Fan Fiction part two of story, Tell Me

2008-05-22T03:56:03Z

Universe: Smallville
Title: Tell Me
Author: BkWurm1
Season: 7
Rating: Teen (for angst)
Summary: Set between Quest and Arctic. Clark finds out about the Department of Domestic Security coming after Chloe. They have a much-needed conversation. Tempers flare. Truths are revealed. Chlark, but remains mostly within the confines of season seven cannon so stays mostly friendship/preship. Brief Jimmy. No Chlimmy.

Part two

Chloe trembled with indignation, her face was flushed and her eyes snapped with righteous ire.

A fierce emotion, too big for one name, swept over Clark.

Affection.

Pride.

Longing.

Amazement.

Part of him still wanted to lock her away from harm and keep her from taking any risks, but to deny her capability would be to deny the person she was: the only one who made the weight of the world lighter.

She accepted, no, she demanded responsibility for her decisions and actions. However, being responsible didn’t mean having to go it alone. First, his parents and then Chloe had shown him that truth. Why was Chloe determined to shut him out?

“I wish you would have waited for me.”

“We needed answers and I don’t recall patience being a significant virtue of yours lately.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I understand why you did what you did. I don’t like it, but I understand, but that doesn’t explain why you kept this from me.” He wanted to soothe the edge to her voice not exacerbate it, but he needed answers.

“I told you,” she hissed through her teeth, “it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Chloe, you got hurt. That is a big deal. You should have told me, I would have…” He raked his fingers roughly through his hair. They were going in circles and he was just making Chloe madder.

“What? What would you have done?” She vibrated with suppressed emotion.

“I should have been there for you.”

“Well, you were kind of busy.”

“I’m not ever too busy for you.”

A humorless snort escaped from Chloe. “Yeah right.”

“No, I’m serious.”

“So am I.” Clark tilted his head in confusion and his willful ignorance infuriated her. “Clark, you can’t tell me you’ve forgotten what happened shortly afterwards. You were going to walk out of my life forever. How is that being there? You left me!”

“I didn’t leave you.”

“Right, because apparently even apocalyptic nuclear obliteration has a silver lining. You came back, but don’t deny if it hadn’t been for President Lex and Brainiac running amuck you would have walked away.”

“Chloe, I…”

“Clark, I could see it in your eyes when you told me about Jor-el’s Wonderful Life. I can see it even now.”

He said nothing for a moment. Denials were wasted on someone who knew you better than yourself. Finally, he gave her the three words that might have enabled him to cut off a piece of his soul.

“You were happy.”

Chloe choked on her disbelief. “You spoke to my doppelganger for what was it? Two minutes? The meteor shower still happened, I would still have been there, so I was still infected, but this time living in a world where the meteor infected are locked up or exterminated.”

“At best,” she continued, “it might have still been a latent ability, but my mother would have already left, would still be in an institution and I would still have been quietly waiting to go insane. How could you possibly know if I was happy?”

“I know you Chloe.” He spoke softly. “You were glowing. I haven't seen you that happy since,” a memory flashed through his mind, a dance floor, her smile, the lights glittering in her hair, her soft form tucked against his chest. The image in his mind shifted from the gymnasium to the basement of the Daily Planet. Her hair down, a bandage on her forehead, her arms locking around his neck like she would never let go. He swallowed hard. “I know what you look like when you are truly happy.

She closed her eyes and bit her lip. “You don't get it. That wasn't me.”

“Chloe, it was you. The only difference was you didn't know me, I wasn’t there.”

“It doesn't work that way.” Tears shimmered in her eyes. “It's not me unless you were there. I can't become who I am without you.”

Overwhelmed, Clark closed the gap between them, silently pulling her close. He tucked her head under his chin and rocked her gently in his arms. She clung to him in return. “I didn’t want to leave,” he whispered into her hair. “I thought it was for the best, but it hurt.”

Chloe sniffed into his shirt. “Well, I herby forbid you from leaving simply for my own good.” He clutched her a little tighter.

“I don’t want to lose you.” For the moment, she was safe and all his fears were quiet, but he couldn’t keep her this close all the time. “You should have told me about the Department of Domestic Service.”

“Adding stubborn to your list of superpowers,” she muttered pulling away and swiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “Ok. Maybe I should have said something, but the problem suddenly wasn’t an issue and I couldn’t see any point in whining about something so minor in comparison to what has happened to Lana.”

Clark thought for a moment. “The way I was acting, did you think I wouldn’t care?”

Chloe chewed on her lower lip. “I didn’t know how you would react.” The possibility he would be dismissive of the incident was almost as big an incentive in staying quiet as not knowing how she would handle him being overly concerned.

“Chloe, don’t ever believe that.”

He had that look in his eyes again, the one that made her heart trip and speed up. The one that made freshman year seem like yesterday and the end of the world a welcome opportunity.

With the kind of determination only much practice can bring, she forced herself to look away from his soulful green eyes. “Well I’m used to standing on my own anyway. I can’t come running to you every time I’m upset about the hand fate is dealing me.”

Puzzlement and a hint of irritation wrinkled Clark’s forehead. “What? Why not?” He demanded.

“Because you are not responsible for me. Because you are my best friend.”

Clark scowled. “How does that translate into not telling me anything that important?”

Chloe wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Didn’t realize she had a long history of not being able to tell him what mattered most? Why did he have to make this so hard? Weary, she spoke more bluntly than was her habit. “Because I need to make sure I don’t mistake friendship for something more.” The instant the words left her mouth she wanted to call them back.

She expected him to start stammering and back away. Instead, the moment stretched out, Clark never breaking eye contact. Time stopped. The barricade she kept between friendship and something so much more blurred precariously. Her heartbeat thudded in her ears and this time, she didn’t have the will to turn away. His eyes spoke to her again. They seemed to ask, What if it’s not a mistake?

Tell him! Tell him! A voice screamed.

Before she could answer, sadness washed over his expression. He didn’t back away, but the stammering began.

“Chloe…, I…, Lana.”

Like that, the mask of friendship snapped back into place. She closed her eyes and pasted on a familiar smile, suddenly too numb to feel more than a faint echo of pain. “Don't panic, like I said, we're friends, I understand. I'm not forgetting about Lana.”

“No, you don't understand about Lana. It is my fault that she got hurt.”

“Clark, I thought we talked about this.”

“No, just listen. It is my fault. Lana was only a target because of our relationship.”

“You can't push people away to protect them. You've tried that before; it just doesn't work. It's not fair to either of you.” She was more than vaguely disappointed they were back to this worn out topic.

“No, you don't understand.” He grabbed her hand, cradling it between his. “I’m telling you Lana was only a target because I was too afraid to admit the truth and for that I can’t forgive myself.”

The urgency in his voice broke through her numbness but rather than bringing joy, the spark of hope only begat dread. Nothing he said now could mean anything. His emotions the last few weeks had run to wild extremes. Still, she couldn’t help but ask, “What are you saying?”

“It was over. We were over and we both knew it, but it was easier to keep going through the motions. Now she's...and I don't even…”

“No, no. You love Lana. You always have,” she told him without any bitterness.

“Maybe, but I’m not in love with her. She’s not the one I think about all the time or the one I need to talk to first thing in the morning. That’s been true for a very long time, but I didn’t make the connection until now that you…” Chloe rushed to cut him off, blocking his words with her free hand.

“Shh, Clark, please. Don’t. Please just don’t say anything, not now.” She couldn’t do this yet, couldn’t hope to go down that road and come back whole, not now, not with innumerable uncertainties still facing them. Instead, she clung to the plan. “Somehow we are going to find a way to reverse the coma and bring back Lana. I believe that. You believe that too.”

The gnawing ache under his heart returned. For some time now, he’d been aware of comparing Lana to Chloe and knowing who came out ahead. Still, he’d tried to make one last go of their relationship. Somewhere between finding Kara in Detroit and Lionel descending toward madness he realized Lana wasn’t the one he needed at his side, but by then Chloe had reunited with Jimmy.

He and Lana drifted on together and yet every day the gulf between them widened. They barely saw each other toward the end. If only he hadn’t put off telling her goodbye, then Brainiac would never have gone after her. He needed to believe Lana would recover or he feared this debilitating guilt would never leave him.

Clark solemnly nodded, “Yes, I believe that.” Chloe gave him a watery smile.

“She’s going to need you. You may have been having some problems, but all that might change when she wakes up and then wouldn’t you fell silly saying things you never really meant.” There was a false brightness about her voice as her eyes pleaded with him not to cross a line she couldn’t come back from.

Clark didn’t know how to explain this utter certainty engulfing him, but he while he no longer had any doubts, he could tell Chloe had plenty and his sincerity topped her list. The way he had been acting, he couldn’t blame her and so he played his part.

“Yeah, silly.” The words fell flatly from his lips.

The tight lines by her mouth flexed in a rough parody of her usually infectious smile and she rushed to grab her purse to go. Clark trailed after Chloe, not really hearing whatever excuse she was giving and knowing it was just mindless chatter on her part too. She slid into the driver’s seat of her car promising new search parameters on Edward Teague and wasted no time before departing. He stood in the drive long after Chloe left, following her heartbeat as she drove away.

He had wanted race after her, tell her not to go, and that she could trust him to know what he really wanted, but she was right. Now was not the time. Lana’s condition left them as thoroughly frozen as Jor-el had left him in the fortress.

But he was not without hope.

Clark was a farmer’s son and Jonathan Kent taught him to look to the seasons and trust the land. In his gut, he felt the wait wouldn’t be long. After all, spring never failed to follow winter.

A thaw was coming and they had a lot to tell each other.

Author’s note: Imagine Arctic happened as shown except that Jimmy is trying to get Chloe back by his proposal and Clark is upset about Lana not because of her leaving but because of his guilt for how she suffered and the frustration of not being able to say goodbye. She was a big part of his life and it hurt that she ran away from him as she had from Lex.

Story or no story, that’s why I think Clark was broken up.

Smallville Fan Fiction, New Story

2008-05-22T03:49:17Z

Universe: Smallville
Title: Tell Me
Author: BkWurm1
Pairing: Chlark
Season: 7
Rating: Teen (for angst)
Summary: Set between Quest and Arctic. Clark finds out about the Department of Domestic Security coming after Chloe. They have a much-needed conversation. Tempers flare. Truths are revealed. Chlark, but remains mostly within the confines of season seven cannon so stays mostly friendship/preship. Brief Jimmy. No Chlimmy.

“They tied her to a chair CK. Slapped her around and tried to make her talk. She wouldn’t tell them anything.” Jimmy’s words, not to mention the bitter look in his eyes, hounded Clark all the way back from Metropolis.

Mindlessly, Clark’s feet led him to the barn. Up, high in the loft, that was where he went when his mind got too crowded. He needed the silence and isolation to get a hold of his emotions. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, a gnawing ache at the base of his heart and a prickling fear on the nape of his neck.

A split lip, a bruised cheek, a swollen eye. Chloe got off easy according to Jimmy. The Department of Domestic Security wasn’t playing by the rules this time around.

Why didn’t she tell him? Why would she hide something like that?

The furrow between his eyebrows deepened as he paced back and forth, stirring up the fragments of straw that invariably settled everywhere in the barn. The very night the DDS came after her, Clark had called and she dropped whatever she was doing and came right over to share the satellite imagery. She hadn’t said anything about the cost of obtaining it, but being wrapped up in his guilt over Lana, he’d never asked either.

They had been watching her, more than watching, ready to swoop in and cart her off to prison. The frigid temperatures of the Arctic didn’t give him so much as a shiver but the thought of Chloe taken away chilled him to the bone. She had no idea how much she meant to him. A few weeks ago, he’d almost lost her and it was entirely his fault.

Jimmy apparently decided the same thing.

When his call came, Clark thought it odd, but he had no reason to refuse meeting him at the Daily Planet. He thought it even stranger to be meeting up on the roof, but didn’t say anything, which fit the theme of the rest of their meeting. Jimmy did most of the talking.

“I knew she was doing something dangerous, but I couldn’t figure out why. Didn’t really want to know, ya know. But, I couldn’t keep ignoring the obvious. You’re the reason she’s risking her freedom, her very life even. She’s doing it for you. I should have figured it out right away.” Jimmy shrugged, resigned, “It’s always for you.” Clark hadn’t known what to say and Jimmy continued.

“I care about Chloe, but I’m never going to be the one she..,” he trailed off. “She says you are just friends, but,” he shook his head and looked away, turning to study the Metropolis skyline, “but you’re not. You two fall in a whole other category.”

“What are you saying?”

“You know what? It doesn’t matter. You might be blind but I’m not. Not anymore.” He faced Clark again. “Look, I used some contacts to get the DDS off Chloe’s back, but she’s not going to stop taking chances, that’s not who she is. You’re the reason she’s so deep into…” he held his hands up, his finger splayed out in front of him, “Don’t tell me what, I don’t want to know. But you had better start looking out for her. I’ve done what I could.” He looked away and mumbled, “Maybe I already did too much.”

Clark narrowed his eyes. “What did you do?” For a moment, Jimmy hesitated as if he wanted to say more, but he shook his head wearily.

“This isn’t about me.” He turned to leave. When he reached the door leading back inside to what was now Lex Luthor’s domain, he paused and looked back. “Just take care of her CK.” A rueful half-smile appeared on his face, “You owe me that much.”

Clark continued prowling the loft in the barn, trying to make sense of what Jimmy said. His advice ate at him the whole time he sped back from Metropolis. Of course he would take care of Chloe. Clark was incensed Jimmy thought he had to be told to do so, but he hadn’t known of her danger. Chloe kept it from him.

He wasn’t a fool. He could guess why, but it didn’t make it right. She was his best friend. She was supposed to tell him when she was in trouble. That she hadn’t, panicked Clark. Was this a part of a larger pattern? She kept his secrets; didn’t she trust him with hers?

The memory of her desperate decision to try Dr. Knox’s cure came back to him. He could still taste the emptiness he’d felt thinking she would forget him. From there, his mind visited the terrible eighteen hour vigil he’d spent waiting for her to revive and then jumped back to Reeves Damm and the hospital where for a few agonizing heartbeats, he had lost her forever.

Had he pulled away, afraid to examine his fears too closely? He knew with Lana moving in, the arrival of Kara, and the reappearance of Bizarro and Brainiac he and Chloe hadn't spent much time just being friends. He'd turned to her time and time again for answers and support. Sometime her unfailing belief in who he could become was all he clung too. But why didn't she turn to him anymore?

Clark stopped pacing when he heard the crunch of gravel beneath the tires of Chloe’s Yaris. He didn’t expect her so soon. He waited at the top of the stairs struggling to contain his fears.

“Clark? I got your text and not that I don’t enjoy your cryptic summons, but you want to elaborate on I found out, Come to the barn. What are we taking about?” She asked while climbing the steps.

“I talked to Jimmy.”

Chloe hesitated on the landing. “Jimmy? He told you? Ok, didn’t expect that, but at least I can stand down the code red.”

“This is serious Chloe,” he told her as she brushed past.

“What is serious is how empty my bank account has become. I know that the super powered persuasion don’t worry too much about the price of gas, but the rest of us are getting skewered.” She flopped down on the couch and unslung her purse from around her shoulder, setting it on the trunk that acted as a table. “How about the next time you want to talk, you come to where I am.”

How could she act so casually? “Chloe you are avoiding the issue.”

“Fine. Look, I would have told you eventually, but I never got the impression you were too interested in my love life and really, I only broke up with him last night. Who knew Jimmy would go all town crier?”

“You broke up with him?”

She shrugged. “He tried, I tried, but something always was getting in our way and worse, I didn’t mind. If I didn’t mind, it wasn’t worth much, so I ended it.”

Clark shook his head. “That’s not what Jimmy told me.”

“Wait, did he tell you he broke up with me? That’s kind of immature.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. Jimmy didn’t mention the break up at all.” Chloe went still.

“If Jimmy didn’t tell you we broke up, what did he tell you?” She carefully asked.

“The Department of Domestic Security.” Chloe winced. “He told me what they did to you.” Clark returned to pacing.

“Oh.”

“Chloe why didn’t you tell me.”

Chloe sunk deeper in the couch. “It didn’t matter.”

“Didn’t matter? They suspected you of terrorism.” Clark sat down on the trunk in front of her. “They were going to arrest you. They hurt you.” He reached over and brushed the loose strands of her blond hair back exposing the side of her face. The bruises Jimmy had described were gone and Clark felt worse for never having seen them.

His gentleness was too much, the look in his eyes too close to what she once desperately wanted to see. Chloe scrambled to her feet and pretended to stare out the open loft windows. “I’m fine. No lasting scars, physical or emotional.” She heard Clark sigh and then come to stand behind her.

“Chloe, you can’t just brush this off as if it’s no big deal. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Chloe scrunched her eyes shut, trying not to hear the hurt in Clark’s voice. How could she explain how badly she had wanted to tell him? How much she longed to be held and promised everything would be all right? How could she make him understand wanting and needing him were the very reasons she hadn’t told him. Recent events had made clear how close to the surface her old feelings remained. She refused to sacrifice their current relationship on fantasy. She couldn’t risk leaning on him that way, not without some feelings spilling outside the border of their friendship. So instead, she just shrugged. “You’ve had enough on your plate without worrying about my petty problems.”

“You could have been killed!” He shouted and turned her to face him. Clark held on to her upper arms, not tightly, but with a grip firm enough to prevent Chloe from walking away.

“It wasn’t like that,” she told him feeling her patience slip.

“Chloe, you have to stop putting yourself at risk and taking so many chances.” Chloe rolled her eyes.

“Clark, I refuse to sit at home wrapped in cotton because of a bad day. I’m a reporter, taking chances is my business.”

“You’re out of business. In case you forgot, you got fired.” Chloe went pale.

“Thanks for the reminder.” A tremor ran through her voice. Clark dropped his hands.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” Chloe shook her head and stepped back.

“No, doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does. Working for the Planet is your dream and you won’t even talk about it. You’re acting recklessly. You’re keeping things from me. Maybe getting fired from the Planet is why you aren’t acting like yourself.”

“Me?” She looked at him with jaw dropping incredulousness. “I’m the one acting strange?” Her temper boiled over. “At least I was out there trying to do something while you were indulging in a pity party.” She stuck her hands on her hips, deepened her voice as far as it would go and whined, “I don’t care if Lex Luthor takes over the world, nothing matters except Lana.”

Clark flinched, stung to hear his own words tossed back at him. “That’s not fair. She is only in a coma because of me and …” Chloe cut him off, marching up into his face.

“Lana is catatonic because back when you were a baby someone on Krypton forgot to shut off their evil supercomputer. Not. Your. Fault.” She stabbed her index finger into his chest, punctuating her words

“Chloe, you and I both know Lana was targeted by Brainiac because of her involvement with me. I’m responsible for that connection.” He turned to look out over the farm. The final pinks and oranges of the sunset were beginning to fade from the sky, but he couldn’t see past his guilt. “I’m responsible for your connection to the DDS too. They only came after you because of your involvement with me.”

“Stop it, just stop it right now. Sometimes you make me want to scream. I’m a big girl. I make my own decisions, thank you very much. Lana is my friend. So is Kara. Beyond that, I happen to think keeping the world from being terraformed into a Kryptonian nightmare is worth taking some chances.”

Part 2 Tell Me: Part 2.

bkwurm1 @ 2007-11-25T21:53:00

2007-11-26T04:41:52Z

So the shaming of myself by admitting to all and sundry that I've been a first rate slacker when it comes to my fanfic writing hasn't worked. I guess a little LJ therapy is needed. Alright then, the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. Well, I did that in the last entry. Ok, what's step two?

Yeah, I'm a little fuzzy on that one also.

I could fall back on my claim that any writing of any sort is a step in the right direction, but then the quandary of what to write about? Ok, what's the first thing that comes to my mind? Hmm, that's kind of interesting. It was the writers strike.

I don't suppose I can claim that I'm on strike too? Solidarity!!

Ok, no one is buying that one. Pity, it seemed so noble.

The strike being on my mind isn't much of a shock to me. Being a fanfic writer is also an admission in my opinion of being a big fan of TV shows in general. Not a general fan of television, but a person who has a tendency to find a show (or if you are lucky/cursed) or even several shows to follow faithfully.  This strike, while I support what the writers are after, has me ready to go into mourning for several shows.

I feel like I've started reading a book even though I know that close to half the chapters are missing.  I'm oddly rattled. Death, taxes, and 20-22 new episodes a year. That's all I expect.

Ok, signing off for now.

Bkwurm1

FIVE MONTHS!!!

2007-11-22T04:23:16Z

Wow, I just, wow. I can't believe I've been away for five months. In an attempt to channel all my energy into finishing a multi chapter story in the Smallville Universe (and the L&C one to be honest) I pulled away from LJ ('cause all my time was spent reading new Vala and Daniel Stargate stories).

So have I finished said story? Nope, not yet. It's on chapter 36 (over on FFNet) and now I'm back on LJ because I'm having a terrible time focusing on the act of writing. I've never had something so long before and have been working away at it for more than a year now (EKKK!!!!) and recently have run into not so much a case of writer's block but more like attention deficit disorder for writers.

Everything under the sun (and moon) seems more fascinating and urgent than sitting down and clacking away at the keys. I still write every day, but I seem to only squeak out a few paragraphs a day in between answering the phone at work. In fact the only time I seem to be motivated to sit down and get to work writing lately is when I know I really should be doing something else.

Twisted huh? Yep, if I should have left ten minutes ago for an appointment, then suddenly I'm inspired to hit the keyboard. As a result I've been late to work a lot lately.

I've read in the past that one of the most important parts of writing is to be in the habit of writing. Content doesn't always matter, just the consitent act of pen to paper (or in this day in age finger to keyboard) Hence my return to LJ.

Ok, that's a start for now. I guess I'll switch into LJ therapy mode in a future post. Or hopefully I'll have shamed myself into action and no one will have to suffer through my random musings.

Unending--The Daniel and Vala Scene

2007-07-02T00:17:58Z

fhartmanhad some questions and thoughts and since my post began forming in monster proportions, I'm switching to my home page to spell it all out.

I've watched that scene MANY TIMES and yes the first time my stomach actually starting aching, but it was mostly a serious miscommunication mixed with legitimate fear of getting hurt all wrapped up in denial on both sides.

Here is a link to the transcript is anyone wants to review it. Unending Transcript.

I've come to the conclusion that the scene in the final episode of Stargate Sg1 where Daniel's rant culminates in kissing Vala is one of the most misunderstood moments in the series history. A powerful and moving turning point is being misconstrued as mental abuse and Daniel is being compared alongside wife beaters in the same sentences. (Note--fhartman did not say this!)

We have to remember that Daniel thought that Vala was only after sex to ease her boredom. Again. She'd shown up previously with the handcuffs and I don't think anyone will dispute that one of her large motivations that time was because she was bored.

Also, we the viewer have been privileged to see how much Vala cares for Daniel far more often than Daniel really has. Her emotional connection to him was usually highlighted either when he was gone (she perked up just at the mention of his name),unconscious (her holding him-more than once) or when he wasn't looking her way.

Once again, we the viewer saw the very soft, gently emotions passing over her face before she took her shirt off and went to unbelt him. Daniel didn't. He was suddenly yanked out of his sad contempation about the Asgard, to being used as a diversion, chosen because she didn't have many options.
We knew he was the only one she wanted and that she had just come to a realization that she didn't want to waste time, "Life is too short" and that she wanted to be with him in whatever way she could get.

To protect herself, she let him think it wasn't serious.

He asked her if she thought he had serious feelings for her and she said no. He's an idiot for not asking if she had serious feelings for him, but he IMO had a legitimate reason for being upset, especially since we find out at the end that he does have serious feelings for her.

Once again faced with Vala wanting to use him to amuse herself, he not only is upset about that, he then pushes back and denies that he'd ever get involved with her. His words almost destroy Vala. Everytime he says categorically he wouldn't get involved with her in a personal relationship, her heart breaks a bit more.

But rather than accuse Daniel of being horrid, cruel and abusive, please remember Daniel can't see her face. He doesn't know she is deeply upset. He thinks he just found out that she thinks they don't have many options, that she wasn't suggesting serious feelings were involved, and wants a one night stand.

He goes on to say he can't even imaging what a relationship with her would be like. Right there we were clued in that we were getting denial from Daniel.

A moment before he was talking about one night stands and it being awkward to work with someone after that, now we are back to him talking about a relationship. He still thinks she has no serious feelings for him, so this relationship he is talking about has to be on his side. Though he said "I can't even imagine what a relationship with you would be like" he clearly has, and is imagining it and he at that moment is convinced it will bring him pain--otherwise why bring it up?

He is arguing out loud, but obviously inside too, because his next words "Yes, you've proven yourself trustworthy on a professional level and for that I am very proud of you," seem to me to come clearly from a place that is still hoping he can have a relationship with Vala. Something is urging him that he can trust her--look how far she's come-- only to be squashed back down by his voice out loud saying yes, but that's only on a professional level.

Daniel is being dumb. Vala, before the SGC, didn't have a separate professional and personal life. In her old life, everyone was ripe to be scammed, that was how she survived. She even seemed quite fond of a few who made it clear they couldn't trust her. For Vala, if she could be trusted on a professional level, she could be trusted on a personal level. Like I said, silly Daniel, but he wasn't trying to hurt her.

Most of his rant is a back and forth conversation he is having with himself.

His next line seems cruel "I mean, at best you're an emotional,unstable wreck" but immediately he follows up with "I'm not saying I'm much better." He recognizes what he said as unfair, but it remains a real reason to worry about being hurt and when he goes on, he tells us how great his fear of being hurt is.

Here's the next quote. "There was a time when I thought I would….I would never get over my wife. I mean the idea of…*sighs, closing his eyes* being hurt that way again…but I finally got to the place. I finally! For the first time in a long time have gotten to the place where I actually feel I could get close to somebody again."

How terrified must Daniel have been to discover he had feelings for Vala when everything he thinks he knows is telling him she doesn't have serious feelings and that as damaged(and this is true what with the former host thing, stoned by village, burned alive, Orici carrier thing having gone on) as she is, he's only going to get hurt. All of SG1 are damaged and have baggage, but if he thinks she is still only playing with him, he'd be a moron to willingly get involved with that.

So instead, Daniel is fighting against what he feels and denying it to the heavens. "But….not in a million years…a million million years" (Shakespeare said something about protesting too much that fits here nicely) "would I ever possibly consider that person being you. I mean we are so completely opposite and…wrong for each other its not even funny"

Once again, it seems to me that the only reason he would be moved to say she wasn't a person he would consider being with is because he has considered her being that person. Recall again that he's supposed to be reacting to her wanting to be his one night stand or friend with benefits at the best. Anything about relationships or getting close to someone, that is all from Daniel and it is all about denial, denial, denial.

If I had any doubt of what Daniel was thinking, the next part set my mind at ease. "and the worst part!...the worst part about that is….you know that. And this whole flirty *rubs his nipples* sexual thing that you do…that's just you're way of having a laugh at my expense."

The worst part is that he thinks she is only doing it all as a joke, that she thinks that they are so completely opposite and wrong for each other. We as the audience know he is wrong, wrong, wrong, but Daniel believes this. He is not trying to punish her or be vicious. He thinks he is just telling it as it is.

His pain at her attempt to cheaply use him again was practically vibrating out of the tv when he finished with "So I'm so sorry if I'm not more appreciative of that and I'm so sorry that you're bored. But don't you pretend that its anything else!"

I repeat, at this point, Vala has not said anything to make him think she has serious feelings and he thinks that she was just trying to be with him because she was bored.

For him to accuse her of just wanting him because she was bored would make no sense--he is in a place where this is an accepted lie between he and Vala. He thinks it is true and Vala is letting him think it is true with her "I don't seem many other options around here." We the viewer know the truth, but Daniel would have no reason to think Vala was trying to make him have a fake real relationship.

For the venom that we hear with "don't you pretend that its anything else!" I heard that as self loathing. He is mocking whatever optimistic part of his soul remains and he is in a dark place, desperately wanting what he is convinced he can't have.

To top everything off, he finally gets a clue that Vala is not reacting like he thought she would--defensive or, mad and he gets a flashback to when she snuck into his bedroom back during Ties That Bind (he must have because I sure did).

Last season when she slipped into Daniels bedroom and was waiting for him, he rejected her with a calm list of reasons he wasn't taking her up on her offer. She lashed back at the hurt he inflicted by saying he really didn't know her, that she'd had a fiance' before and also about the village stoning her.

I, like many others, have always believed that she was telling the truth, but when Daniel wondered if she wasn't, she seized on the opportunity to cover up her moment of vulnerability. She left him thinking that she was just pretending to be hurt. So I also wasn't upset when Daniel told her not to pretend to be hurt.

But she wasn't and it hit him that she wasn't pretending. He found out how deeply he'd hurt her when she couldn't look at him.

That brings me to the next complaint I've heard over and over again. That Vala should never have just sat there and taken it him. Vala was shown from her first introduction to be a survivor, always glib and ready with a comeback. She used a quick tongue and a teasing manner to keep things light and her opponents off center. Her ability to always be ready to make a reply or defense defined her character.

I cannot stress how really meaningful it was that Vala was unable to defend herself. I found her lack of defense against Daniel a pivotal part of the scene.

Like I said before, last season when she slipped into Daniels bedroom, when Daniel wondered if she was making it up about the stoning, the spitting, the fiance', she seized on the opportunity to cover up her moment of vulnerability.

The key to power of the scene in Unending is that this time, Vala has become so vulnerable emotionally to Daniel that she is physically incapable of even just walking away from him as he hurls his mixed up denial of what he is feeling. She no longer can protect herself. Self protection, both physical and emotional was the guiding force in all her actions and she just can't do it this time.

She was beyond pride, beyond anger, beyond worring about injustice. This was about holding on each second until she could reassemble her newly broken soul.

Her hopes and secret dreams were just wrenched brutally from her, with no forseeable change coming. Had she had it in her power, she would have put up walls to guard her heart, to stop the pain, to take the control away from Daniel, but it was impossible.

Anger is empowering and with power and strength, the first thing Vala would do was protect her heart, her soul. That is why I found it important that Vala did not find her voice and call him on his seemingly cruel and unjust words. Because she couldn't protect herself from this deep a cut.

In that scene where Daniel is railing against her attempt to make a mockery of a meaningful situation (thinking she was after sex because she was bored) it was only when Daniel realized how overwhelmingly meaningful their pontential relationship was to her (so meaningful that the loss of it left her without any weapons) did he finally discover that all his complaints, protests, and vows of never, were meaningless.

He proved that when he kissed her, exposing all his vulnerabilities to her. We might think this was a quick turn around, but to Daniel, he thought he knew what was happening, what Vala was feeling. Realizing all of a sudden that she did have serious feelings for him and she didn't want just a one night stand must have come as a shock to him. He only moments ago had been caught up in his fears and pain. The moment, the very second he realizes what she feels strongly for him, he drops his denial and plunges head (or should I say lip) first. Its natuaral that he'd have a moments hesitation.

He'd just got what he wanted and was convinced could never have so for a moment, his old fears rise up and he begs her not to be messing with him. Now Daniel is the vulnerable one and here Vala finally understands where his rant came from and in my mind forgives him. Not only forgives him, tries to erase any further doubts in his mind.

I imagine that later on both of them would be apologizing to each other; Daniel for his harsh sounding words and Vala for the misunderstandings she perpetuated.

That scene wasn't pretty, but it was more real and honest than anything else I've ever seen on Stargate.

Unending-The Return, final chapter, Affirmation

2007-06-22T03:54:23Z

Here is the final chapter and though the rest of the fic could be rated PG easily, this one is certainly R. --OK, more than R. I guess I'll do some editing before posting it on FFNet. Let me know what you think.

Rated for heavy romance.

As soon as all systems were determined functional and their route home was confirmed, Daniel requested Vala assist him in verifying that his temporary workstation aboard Odyssey hadn’t suffered during their fight with the Ori ships.

They left the bridge of the Odyssey before Landry or the other team members questioned his flimsy excuse and then managed to only wait until the elevator doors shut behind them before falling ravenously on one another.

He speared his fingers through her jet-black hair and hungrily took her mouth while she ran her hands up and down his back. He needed to get closer and stepped forward, pushing her against the wall; his body flush to her flesh and feeling every delicious curve and valley. It was not enough to taste her; he needed to breathe her, to savor her, to lose himself inside her.

He’d almost lost her.

Worse.

He almost never knew what he had.

He couldn’t think, just feel and react. He needed to prove she belonged to him.

His hands went to the front of her BDU’s and opened the jacket to her waist. He pushed it off her shoulders and with a flourish, peeled the black t-shirt over her head, exposing her heated skin to his gaze before trailing warm kisses over her collar bone and then down the shadowy valley between her breasts. She leaned away, arching her back and offering herself up for anything that would bring her closer to the hot tight ball of pulsing pleasure that wanted to burst through her system.

“More,” she panted. “I need more,” she demanded while sliding her cool palms under his shirt. His chest was smooth and firm and oh, so hot, beneath her exploring fingers, but the shirt and jacket he still wore restricted her access.

“Off,” she commanded, pulling back to help him remove the offending articles. Once he was naked to the waist, she pressed her open lips to his chest, alternating stinging nips with soothing kisses.

The lift doors opened to their selected level, but neither paid any attention and soon they closed again.

Daniel slid Vala’s pants down and she kicked them loose, leaving her in a melon colored tank top and matching panties. He cupped her bottom, molding and squeezing as he lifted her to rest more fully against the bulge between his legs. He ground his pelvis forward and she hissed his name, digging her fingernails into his back. He captured her mouth and swallowed her next cry as he arched against her again.

“Vala, I need you,” he whispered hotly against the side of her face and slid one of his hands under her shirt to cover her breast. He dragged his thumb over her already taunt nipple, making her stiffen and shudder. He slipped his other hand beneath the hem of the bright colored tank top and dragged it off, leaving her fully open to his caresses. Vala shivered, not from exposure - her skin was too heated too feel a chill - but from the intense longing she saw in Daniel’s blue eyes. He demanded everything from her, allowing her to hold back nothing.

He would possess her soul, but she would take his.

His skillful hands continued to tease and arouse while his mouth feasted on her jaw, her neck, her collar before diving to replace his hands. He laved and kissed the sensitive skin surrounding her nipple before latching on and sucking hard, rolling the sensitive bud against the roof of his mouth and causing Vala to cry out and clutch his head closer. He repeated his ministrations before switching to its twin and duplicating his results.

Vala moved restlessly against him, her hands shaking while she tried to undo his belt buckle. He brushed her hands aside and she whimpered in agony before realizing he was attending to the chore himself. She tugged and pulled the belt away and he pushed and stepped out of his pants and boxers in one act. Proof of his desire sprung free and was a huge, hot brand against her stomach.

“Daniel,” she moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Now, please. I need you now.” He swooped in for a hard kiss before sliding his thumbs under the edges of her panties and sweeping away the last remaining barrier. He griped her hips and hiked her further up the wall until she could wrap her legs around his waist. She held on while he positioned himself at her entrance and pushed his way in, sliding heavily into her moist heat. He groaned low and deep and she started keening softly in his ear. He pulled back and then surged powerfully forward inside her molten core.

“Mine,” he growled against her neck.

She twined her legs more forcefully around his waist, trying to draw him even closer, deeper. She sought physical affirmation of what her soul cried out.

They were one.

Her heart pounded and his hammered back against her chest. Their mingled breath came in pants, their lips meeting in an insatiable kiss. He wound her tresses tightly between his fingers, binding their mouths together just as securely as their joined flesh.

Over and over, he pressed and thrust, meeting her trembling body until he felt the tension in Vala wind even tighter. “Oh, oh, Daniel, I’m going to…” His mouth covered hers, silencing her moans and drinking her ecstatic cries as he heaved his rigid member deeper, harder. He felt her insides clench and spasm before lighting shot up his spine and with a final series of thrusts, he released a hot surge deep inside her womb.

Minutes passed. His knees turned to jelly and he could no longer support them both. Still wrapped together, he let them slid down the wall until they rested on the floor with Vala on his lap facing him. Daniel smoothed back Vala’s unruly hair before cradling her head in his hands and staring as if he was trying to newly memorize her unlined face.

He listened to the echoes in his memory and traced patterns by her lips and eyes, noting vanished wrinkles as familiar to him as the lines that had once been on his own face. “So young, we were, no,” he murmured, “are so young.” Vala, in turn, studied his dear features and couldn’t resist nibbling on his lower lip. Daniel let himself drowned in her kiss, intoxicated by a volatile mix of love, tenderness, and unflagging lust.

In the past fifty years, his desire for Vala had only grown, and now like a gift from the mythical gods, he had the stamina to prove it.

Vala touched his cheek and traced his lips. “It feels like forever since I’ve been in your arms,” she murmured. She met his eyes. “I missed you so much and yet I know that’s absurd. The reversed field was instantaneous.”

Daniel leaned into her touch and inhaled deeply, trying to drink his fill of her intoxicating perfume, a scent that essentially was only Vala. He stoked her hair and absently replied. “Like Sam told us, our minds seem to be processing the memories of our time on the Odyssey as if it happened a long time in our past. The freshest memories are from this timeline, the journey here, Thor’s goodbye, the Ori’s pursuit and so on.”

Vala pulled back to look at him mischievously. “Does that mean you’re going to be miffed about that little party I arranged for you the other day or should I say fifty years ago? Because if that’s true, we’re going to have to discuss your ability to stubbornly hold a grudge, it can’t be healthy and causes all that stress and tension.” She began kneading his shoulders.

“Vala, I got over the fake birthday party a long while ago.”

“I suppose that’s true, but what about…never mind.” Suddenly, she was not teasing. Insecurities from a lifetime ago swamped her ability to reason. She shook her head and their eyes broke contact. She stared over his shoulder at nothing.

He felt her sudden tension. He kept soothingly running his fingers through her hair. “What? Tell me.”

Vala bit her lip and spit out her sudden fears. “What about us? Was this,” she said gesturing to their scattered clothing in the elevator, “about getting caught up in an old memory or am I still…, I mean on the ship before we left you said…, but before, I mean now, I know you didn’t think, don’t think I really. Ah, hell,” frustrated, she blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and stuck her hands on her hips, raising her voice as she demanded to know, “Do you still love me?”

She looked like a furious goddess. His heart tripped and sped up. “Yes.” He took her hand off her hip, kissed it and then smiled tenderly, “and you? Do you still love me?” He asked, feeling the tension drain out of her body even as it unexpectedly rushed to his.

“Beyond breathing,” she answered without hesitation.

He cupped her face. “I won’t ask you to choose.”

“Still, would be an easy choice to make.”

“Don’t say that.” He sealed his words with a quick, fierce kiss. “You and I are a package deal; if I’m ever going to get anything done, I need you close by, healthy and alive.”

“It goes both ways you know.” She tried to say it as a joke, but her eyes betrayed her earnestness. “I know the Ori’s fleet is still out there, but I’ll have none of the random dying of which Sam told me so much. I find it irresponsible behavior and completely inappropriate for a role model such as yourself.”

Faintly puzzled, Daniel squinted his eyes and tilted his head to the side, “Role model?”

Vala looked down, seemingly fascinated by the invisible patterns she traced on his chest. For a moment, he wondered if she would answer. When she did, she spoke softly, her voice tinged equally with hope and sadness. “I know that starting a family isn’t practical right away and I know we didn’t talk too much about it and I know that was my fault, but back then, on the Odyssey, it hurt too much.”

An unhealed ache came to life near his heart. She was talking about children. On Odyssey, they both knew children would be unwise, but there had been one close call, one divine accident.

She miscarried before they had even known she was pregnant, but the incident planted a longing that never went away.

“It was fine to fantasize about places I’d gone and things I’d done, those things I learned I could do without, but I couldn’t let myself think about what we were really missing, because I wasn’t sure if then I would be able to do without. But now, I want…need really to know that someday we will meet our…,”

He finished for her. “Children.”

“You would be a wonderful father and I think I could be a good mother.”

“You will be a wonderful mother.”

Vala flushed under his certainty. “I didn’t do so well with Adria.”

“Not a fair comparison. You know that.” He gathered her closer, and wrapped his arms around her tightly. His whispered into her hair, “I can’t help believing who you are, how much you care, how deeply you love was one of the reasons why Adria had to age at such an amazing speed. If you’d been the one to raise her, had been given time to mold her, the Ori could not have retained their hold on her. But,” he sighed, “you’re right, starting a family right away probably isn’t a good idea.” He felt Vala nodding.

“I feel like I still have a responsibility with the Ori situation.”

“As do I, but,” he pulled back to look at her, “we won’t wait too long, no matter what. Agreed?”

Vala blinked several times and then blinded him with her smile. “Agreed.”

“So,” she said changing the subject at lightning speed. She started to drop lazy kisses on his chest.

“Mmm,” he absently responded, distracted by the sight of a vulnerable spot just below the nape of her neck.

“I was just thinking.”

He smirked, unable to ignore that opening. “I can’t remember. Is that a good or bad sign?” She nipped his chest. “Ow!” He yelped and rubbed the offended flesh. He sighed dramatically. “Go ahead, what were you thinking?”

She sat up and linked her hands behind his head. “Just how detailed will our reports have to be?”

Daniel burst out laughing. “Good question. I don’t think I want to explain a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs to the boys in Washington.”

She smiled provocatively. “From what I’ve head, they know all about them.”

“Vala,” he said her name half-amused, half-exasperated.

She turned serious again. “I can’t completely change, I think you know that. I’m not ever going to be perfect and I’m still going to on the occasion say things that you find embarrassing or stupid,” she hesitated, “and it won’t just be around the team. Can you handle that?”

He cupped her face in both hands again and answered seriously, “I’m still going to get so wrapped up in my work that I miss lunch, sometimes dinner and the occasional breakfast. Can you handle that?”

She smiled softly, “I can work around that.”

“Ok, fair enough and if I need you to be quiet, I will just have to practice my patented technique to stop you from talking. Fifty years and I found only one reliable way.”

“Oh,” she challenged, “and what’s that?”

His eye sparkled devilishly, “Let me demonstrate.”

Xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx

Some time later, Vala pulled back from Daniel’s kiss, “Do you feel that?”

The lift was vibrating beneath them. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he said pulling her back into his embrace, “the lift is just moving.” Daniel froze and Vala’s eyes grew big. He scooted her off his lap, scrambled up, and shouted, “The lift’s moving!” They had just seconds before the doors would open onto the Odyssey’s bridge. Daniel pulled Vala to her feet. He hastily scooped up some of their scattered clothing.

XXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX

“I’m telling you, I just don’t believe it.” Cam insisted to Sam while they waited on the bridge for the lift.

“We spent fifty years together and you still doubt me?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you’re completely wrong, just foolish to narrow down all the possibilities to just the…” The lift doors opened. “Aw, crap.” Cam sighed.

Judiciously holding a bundle of clothing in front of him, Daniel stood with Vala tucked behind him in the corner. He lifted his free hand in a weird kind of wave acknowledging his state of semi-nakedness.

Seeing their audience, one of Vala’s arms snaked around Daniel’s chest and she nonchalantly held something out to Daniel. “Darling, I found your glasses. They were on the floor beneath your boxers.” If possible, Daniel turned a deeper shade of red, but he just calmly slipped them on said a short thank you. “Any time,” Vala purred.

Sam’s lips twitched as she held out her hand, palm up, to Mitchell. “Pay up.”

Mitchell grumbled as he dug into his pocket. “Jackson, would it have killed you to wait two minutes and find a real room.” He slapped a crumpled ten into Sam’s hand.

Sam took his money grinning, “Never bet against a sure thing.” They let the lift doors glide shut.

Landry shook his head, “Somebody please tell me those two calmed down eventually.”

“Oh they did, sir,” Sam hurried to assure the General. “I’d say they really mellowed during the last, oh, what would you say Teal’c?”

“Five years.” Teal’c provided with a nod.

General Landry groaned.

“Yep,” agreed Mitchell. “The last five years I almost never caught them naked in the elevator.” He shook his head and grimaced. “Good thing I was getting cataracts.”

Unending- The Return Chapter 2 Restoration, part 2

2007-06-22T03:47:30Z

Smiling, Sam left Cam and Landry reliving old victories and went to Teal’c. Their years together brought a comfortable familiarity and she hugged him without self-consciousness. “How do you feel? Are you experiencing any unexpected side-effects from staying outside of the time dilation field?”

He inclined his head formally, but smiled as he replied, “I am well, and far more content not being alone with my remembrance of our life aboard the Odyssey.”

She squeezed his hand. “Its funny though, now that the initial rush of memories is over, I still remember, but I have a clearer memory of saying goodbye to Thor and what I ate at the commissary the night before the Odyssey departed than I do of instructing you on the use of the crystal. It’s almost as if those experiences are being stored further back in my chronological memories.”

She ran her hand through her shortened locks of hair and this time didn’t notice anything odd about its length. “These current memories, the ones that should be before our time on the Odyssey, are so clear. Protocols and procedures for the SGC, rules I’m sure I’d forgotten before I was fifty, I can again now list by rote.”

Teal’c tilted his head and lifted an eyebrow, waiting for her assessment.

“Well, that will make settling back on the base easier,” she said philosophically.

He nodded regally, noting Samantha Carter’s sensible outlook as Daniel Jackson and Vala Mal Doran walked over to them, hand in hand. A hint of a smile touched Teal’c’s lips.

Much knowledge of great value had accrued during their time on the Odyssey, but none was of richer fortune than the understanding achieved between this pair.

Pity, though. Notions of how they would again rediscover one another had entertained him. Some things are meant to be. Daniel Jackson had lost and suffered much, but the universe fittingly delivered the piece to repair and complete his soul.

Teal’c remembered the fist time he had been in the company of both Daniel Jackson and Vala Mal Doran.

Daniel Jackson had thrown pillows.

He felt the ghost of a smile deepen into a smirk. The universe worked in mysterious ways.

Sam greeted Daniel by throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a quick hug before repeating the gesture to Vala. She grinned happily for them and, for the first time in decades, without even the tiniest bit of resentment. She was past envy. Her life was an open possibility again.

Life.

Not simply work.

Though her former self wanted to tremble and protest that she was too late, Sam knew better. Where there is life, there is hope and now there was time too. The chances she had been afraid to take in the past still remained. She had time and she would not waste any more of it.

Even if her life, her personal life, did not go in the direction she hoped, she could try.

She felt light and free. For fifty years, she’d attempted to mend her mistake, never really forgetting that ultimately it was her actions that were responsible for putting them in living suspension. It didn’t matter that no one else held her responsible. Her own feelings of guilt kept her from reaching out and connecting as anything more than a colleague and friend.

There had been moments where possibilities could have been explored, but she’d chosen the safe route. What route would she chose now? Not knowing excited her. A touch on her arm brought her out of her speculation.

“Sam,” Daniel began, but paused to frown and furrow his brow in that way he did when he was especially nervous about something. His agitation surprised Sam. She glanced at Vala to see if something was wrong.

Vala stood silently next to Daniel, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Sam recognized that her silence spoke volumes to the depth of their mutual concern. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Sam’s voice echoed through the bridge. Cam and Landry cut off their jocular ribbing mid sentence and rushed to stand next to Sam and Teal’c.

“Sam, what’s happening?” Cam asked at the same time Teal’c spoke.

“Are you unwell Daniel Jackson?” He asked with concern.

“No, no. Physically I feel fine. Fine, I mean, apart from physically manifesting symptoms associated with nerves…” Vala place her free hand on his forearm and with a light touch, forestalled a verbal ramble.

They exchanged looks, the kind of silent communication developed after decades of intimately knowing and loving another person. Daniel took a deep breath and started again.

“We’re physically fine, but worried.”

Sam shook her head in confusion and asked again, “What is it?”

Daniel asked a question instead of answering hers. “Regaining our memories of our life on the Odyssey, this wasn’t an anticipated side effect of reversing the time field, was it?”

“If you’re asking did I expect it? Then no. But the chance existed, however minutely.”

“But are they permanent?” Vala rushed to ask. Sam suddenly realized the source of their worry, but before she could speak, Daniel jumped in, exposing his naked fear.

“If they are temporary, there has to be something we can do to preserve them, to hold on to them.” He broke off. His jaw worked furiously and he swallowed hard. His eyes had a bright sheen to them. When he spoke again, his voice was raw. “Sam, I don’t think I could handle saying goodbye a second time.”

Sam reached for Daniel and Vala’s free hands. She squeezed them and looked in turn into their eyes. “Based on my earlier research into this possible phenomenon and barring traumatic head injury, there is no reason why you will ever altogether lose those memories. You are no more likely to forget our time on Odyssey than anything else that has happened in our lives.”

She let her gaze fall and linger on the remaining members of her team and on their commander. A long time ago, before she ever boarded the Odyssey, Daniel and Teal’c had become more than just team members. They had become almost like family.

She looked around the room and realized there was no distinction any longer, no almost. She might have tried to hold back out of a misplaced sense of remorse, but it hadn’t mattered in the end. These people were her family. She smiled and wiped away a tear at the same time. “Those fifty years on the Odyssey, that’s a journey I never intended to make. But now, I’m glad I didn’t have to lose that voyage. I can promise all of you, those memories will forever be a part of who we are.” Chapter Three-Affirmation.

Another new Daniel/Vala Fic Unending-The Return

2007-06-22T03:36:25Z

Title: Unending-The Return
Author: BkWurm1
Spoilers: Unending
Genre: First two chapters very teamy, third one heavy Daniel/Vala romance.
Summary: Takes place during Unending immediately after Teal'c goes back and stops them from forming the time dilation field. AU from there on.

No copyright infringement intended, not really mine, just borrowing from MGM.

The Odyssey fled the remaining Ori vessel and before their enemy fired another shot, they swiftly slipped into hyperspace. General Landry immediately contacted Col. Carter to discover what had happened. “Col. Carter, report.”

“Sir, I’m still finding out all the details. Teal’c suddenly appeared and well, we’ll be on the bridge in a minute to explain.”

Mitchell frowned and looked around, “The big guy was here a minute ago, I swear. Jackson,” he appealed to Daniel while the archeologist finished putting out a fire, “back me up here.”

Daniel put down the fire extinguisher and nudged back his glasses. He was still looking around in similar confusion when the lift doors opened.

Vala exited first and met Daniel’s raised eyebrow with a shrug and a shake of her head. Sam nervously walked to Landry and Teal’c serenely followed. A swath of white hair boldly tapered from his right temple. Vala leaned on the console next to Daniel and whispered, “You are never going to believe it.”

Daniel gave her a sharp look before smirking and whispering back, “Want to bet?” Daniel doubted much of anything could surprise him anymore. He redirected his attention to Sam’s explanation of why they were on their way home, rather than paused as planned inside a time dilation field.

Daniel’s jaw actually dropped when Teal’c revealed fifty years passed before they discovered the solution to escaping the bubble without the blowing the Odyssey apart permanently.

Vala grinned and chucked him lightly under the chin. “Told you so.”

Too stunned by the ramifications to speak, he continued to stare glassy-eyed at Teal’c. Vala leaned closer to whisper directly in his ear, “I win.” His body tensed.

She felt his awareness return to her. “So,” she purred, “are you my prize?” Her sultry voice sent shivers down his spine. Daniel furrowed his brow and attempted to form a coherent reply when what he could only describe as a wave, washed out in a circular pattern from the center of the bridge.

His mind tried to command his mouth to issue a warning to the others, but he was frozen, helpless to struggle as the wave widened and bathed them all with its energy.

More waves pulsed from the center of the ship, washing over them faster and faster until an intense blue light flared and sound, as thunderous as the waters crashing over Niagara Falls, reverberated through the command deck.

Teal’c saw the energy pulse wave ebb and disappear at the same time silence retook control of the bridge. General Hank Landry slumped to the side of the command seat, unconscious, and the rest of Sg1 were likewise incapacitated and passed out on the floor. Only he seemed unaffected by whatever had transpired. No alarms sounded, the sensors read normal and their course remained unchanged. It seemed the ship’s circuitry was equally unaffected.

Before he could take further action, they began to stir.

Cam struggled to his feet, shaking his head as if he was trying to dislodge something. “What the hell was that? Did the Ori find us? Some kind of new sonic weapon?” He went to the ship’s control panel. He didn’t see anything on the sensors.

Teal’c provided a hand to Sam, while Daniel and Vala were mutually assisting each other to stand. The General leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. Cam lightly shook his shoulder. “Sir, are you alright?”

General Landry gingerly raised his head and looked around, a frown pulling his eyebrows together. He stared hard at Sam and Mitchell before becoming distracted by his hand. He held it out in front of his face and rotated it slowly, seemingly extra fascinated with the back of it. “No spots.” He pinched himself and winced. “I’m not dreaming. Sam must have done it,” he said in wonder.

“Sa-am.” Cam called over his shoulder, afraid to look away and afraid to keep looking as Landry threw back his head and hooted triumphantly. “I think the General is injured or,” Landry hooted again, “insane.”

Sam rushed to the General who grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her into a bear hug. “You did it, you never gave up,” he said proudly.

Sam stood stiffly in his embrace. “Sir, you are behaving very oddly, something must be wrong, I need you to…,” she stopped as a flood of memories swirled through her mind, including the time General Landry took his last breath. She dug her fingers tightly into his forearms as her eyes began to well up. “Oh, sir! You’re alive!” She cried before returning his bone-crushing hug.

Cam rubbed his face in confusion. “What the hell is going on here?” He threw his arms up in the air out of frustration and turned around. “Jackson, do you have…,” he faltered, stunned to silence at seeing the normally reserved archeologist grinning and raining exuberant kisses on Vala’s face, temples, and hair as she clung to him and wept silently.

Cameron twisted away from the bizarre tableau. “Teal’c, give it to me straight. Is, is it me?” He put the back of his hand against his forehead, testing for temperature. “Am I going…,” suddenly fifty years of images, thoughts, sounds, tastes, smells and temper tantrums zipped into place, “crazy?” He ended on a whisper.

He whipped his head around; taking in Teal’c’s look of dawning comprehension and seeing Sam laugh and wipe away happy tears. He saw Landry smiling at Sam, his chest puffed out, beaming with pride as if she was his own daughter. He saw Jackson and Vala wrapped joyously together, just as they had been for the last fifty years, only young again.

Everyone was young again and the ship…it was vibrating and thrumming with life. It was moving -they were moving– they had evaded the Ori’s blast and slipped into hyperspace and were now racing toward home.

Home, they were… He could not quite believe. He ran to the nearest port and saw space streaking by and no trace of the energy beam that defined their outside world for fifty years.

“She did it. She did it!” He threw head back and let loose a joyful cry. “Wahoo!” He whooped and danced around the bridge. “Superman flew around the world!” He threw his arms around both Daniel and Vala at the same time and squeezed. “She did it!” He shouted and hopped over to Teal’c and thumped him on the back. “T, my main man! My, oh, my, oh, my! You did it! Mr. Turned back time!”

He bounded back to Landry and swept Sam up in a madly twirling hug. “Why didn’t you tell us we’d still remember everything?” He demanded, grinning like a fool.

Sam waited to find a solid surface beneath her toes before answering. She brushed back a loch of hair and seemed surprised by its short length. “The chance of this happening was so remote I didn’t even finish calculating the odds. It could have been due to the resultant damage by the first blasts. If enough energy spiked and gravity was within the ratio of curvature while expending a shower of vanheloxiom particles, then the subsequent force…”

Cam cut her off by placing a wet smacker on her lips, “Sam, you’ve been my best friend for fifty years, but I don’t care how this happened, just that it did happen. We’re moving, no, flying -literally hurtling- through space again and I can’t say I feel a day over thirty-something.” He grinned widely, “Even if I do recall my eightieth birthday being the shindig of the decade.” He released her and pointed at the General.

“Sir, I am officially challenging you to the ultimate chess tournament rematch. Last time we played, you bailed before we finished, and as I recall, I was ahead by two games.”

Sam’s jaw dropped, aghast at his comment. She smacked him on the arm. “Cam, he collapsed during your game and two days later, died!”

“Death! Ha! This is Sg1 and the head of Stargate command! We don’t let a little thing like death or aged decrepitude get in the way. Do we sir?” He clapped the General on his back.

Landry shook his head and dryly drawled, “Glad you haven’t lost your enthusiasm Mitchell, but you were behind by two games in our last chess tournament.” He grinned. “I’m going to kick your butt all over again.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

< Chapter Two Restoration, part 2.

New Daniel/Vala fic, A QUICK FIX

2007-06-21T05:21:33Z

Title: A Quick Fix
             Author: Bkwurm1
             Spoilers: UNENDING
            Genre: Angst, Comfort, Fluff.
            Rating: General

Summary, a few years into their time on the Odyssey and Daniel and Vala have grown closer.

“Knock, knock.”

Daniel looked past the Asgard writing hovering in the air. Vala hesitated on the threshold of the interactive data retrieval room, her arms behind her back.

“Hey.” He punched a few of the panels in front of him and the secrets of a lost race vanished for the moment. “I’m not late for dinner, am I?” He glanced at the dial of his watch. It read mid-afternoon, but if the timepiece were to fail, he’d have no way of distinguishing the time in the perpetual night that cloaked the Odyssey.

“No, I just thought you might be ready for fresh coffee.” She revealed a black thermos from behind her back. Daniel removed his glasses, wiped his eyes, and resettled his spectacles in place.

“I’ll never say no to fresh coffee, but why the change of heart?”

“What do you mean?” She rotated the top of the carafe until it was open and handed it to Daniel.

“Thank you.” He took a sip. “I’m referring to your longstanding prohibition against anyone bringing me coffee. Something about how I’d never leave if I wasn’t forced.” He took another sip and privately acknowledged if he didn’t have to fetch his own coffee (Mitchell wouldn’t even go against Vala’s edict) he probably wouldn’t leave the data room during the day, but he was careful not to stay past what constituted a normal workday too often.

He tried not to let work control his every waking minute and found he didn’t even want to let it have such power over him most of the time. His relationship with Vala meant more to him that he could ever have imagined.

Since the day his blinders finally came off, they’d grown increasingly close. After that first night, less than a month went by before Vala moved permanently into his quarters. The past three years had gone by surprisingly swiftly and he could no longer imagine a life without Vala waking up by his side each morning.

“Well, today I’m making an exception.” She smiled, but it failed to reach her eyes and lacked her normal vibrancy. He reached out and took her hand.

“Hey,” he said softly, “what’s wrong?”

She bit her lower lip, but shook her head. “Nothing,” she said unconvincingly and faltered further as Daniel set down his precious mug and took her other hand as well.

‘It’s not nothing.” He contradicted. When she would have looked away, he gently cupped her chin and held her still. He caressed her jaw line with his thumb. “Talk to me.”

“It really is nothing. Nothing has happened since this morning. I, I’m just missing you I guess, feeling a bit lonely. Sam’s…” she broke off as Daniel pulled her tightly into his embrace, his arms enfolding her securely. Closing her eyes, she sank into him, sighing raggedly and hugging him back fiercely.

They stood for a minute not speaking, just wrapped around one another, seeking strength and comfort and finding that and more.

After a while, Vala released a shaky laugh into his shoulder. “I must have needed that. I think I spent too much time this afternoon starring out at nothing and contemplating the infinite universe. Humans make up practically nothing when compared to the vastness of space and six people living a lifetime in seconds might as well not even exist.” She snorted inelegantly, “They surely shouldn’t be worrying over if they matter while they practically don’t exist in the first place.”

Daniel rubbed her back and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Ok, no more studies in existentialism for you.” He rocked her for a moment longer before pulling back and looking her in the eyes. They were dry, but haunted. “We matter and you matter. You matter to me more than you could know.” Her grey eyes did not stay dry.

She blinked back a few tears and then grinned and rolled her eyes. “Sure, right, but you could survive just fine on you own as long as you had unlimited access to the Asgard database and free flowing java.”

She gestured behind them, “Set up a little bed in the corner and you’d never have to leave, well, except for bathing. Though, if you stayed holed up in here, you couldn’t offend Sam or General Landry too much.”

Daniel tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow, clearly conveying his question to Vala. She lifted an eyebrow in turn and replied, “You know Teal’c would never mention it and you shouldn’t be concerned about offending Cameron, the nonstop jogger’s nose. He’s hardly in a position to talk.”

Daniel smiled, more at the return of her good humor than at the content of her comment. Still, something of what she said nagged at him. His smile slipped away and he turned serious.

“It’s not true you know.”

“Well, alright, Teal’c might say something if you went unbathed for too long and…” Daniel cut her off by stealing a quick kiss.

“No, no. I mean you are wrong about what I need to survive.”

Light as a butterfly, she touched the side of his face. “It’s alright Daniel,” she said softly. “It doesn’t bother me. As long as I have my fair share of you, I’m ok with sharing.” He grabbed her hand and placed a kiss in her palm.

“Hush. I’m not trying to placate you. Yes, it’s true that I find the Asgard database fascinating and could conceivably make it my life’s work, but still, in the end it’s just that, work.”

Vala frowned up at him, trying to understand what he was saying.

“The Asgard database might keep me busy and yes, even intrigued, but you,” he ran his fingers through the hair along side her face. Strands of the thick, glossy stuff curled and clung to his fingers like a caress. “But you, you keep me living. Without you…” he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw against the sudden pain that thought delivered.

Not be around her warmth and humor? Miss out on her passion, her playfulness, her affection? Give up her trust and understanding?

Never.

If need be, he’d gladly trade the Asgard’s legacy for her continued presence by his side. Both were fascinating, intriguing and wondrous, but only one was life itself.

He tipped his forehead until it rested on hers and grasped her shoulders. “I can’t do without you Vala.” He felt a splash of warmth on his shirtfront, followed shortly by another. “Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry,” he begged and tucked her head against his chin. “I’m doing a lousy job cheering you up.”

Vala sniffed and laughed, “Darling, these would be happy tears.” She reached up and wound her arms around his neck, pulling him close. He sunk his fingers into her hair while he got lost in their kiss, marveling once again how each time they touched, he seemed to crave her more. Breathlessly, they pulled apart, and once again rested their foreheads together.

Daniel tugged on strand of her hair. “Come, on, let’s get out of here.” Vala rose up on her tiptoes and planted a quick hard kiss on his lips.

“No, you’ve still got a couple hours of work left. I can wait.” She stole another kiss from him while he was in shock. “This will keep me for now.” One more nibble to his lips and she turned resolutely to leave. Before she was out of reach, Daniel grabbed her hand and reeled her back into his arms.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He lowered his mouth to hungrily take hers.

“Oh?” she said when he moved on to nuzzle her neck. “And why’s that?” She coyly asked while her wildly beating heart belied her calm.

His voice sounded strained around the edge “Because suddenly the history of the Asgard doesn’t seem all that interesting.”

“I can see how that might be a problem.” She rubbed the nape of his neck. “Good thing I brought you fresh coffee. A quick fix of caffeine should do the trick, right?” She teased.

“Vala, I need something, that’s true, but it has nothing to do with coffee and a quick fix is not going to cut it. Believe me,” he whispered against her parted lips, “this is a life long addiction.”

Crash

2007-05-14T03:42:32Z

Just a lament on my poor pitiful crumpled car. Ok, not super crumpled, but the back bumper is barely hanging on and the rear hatch is mighty mutilated. Sigh.

I got rear ended last Wed morning and though I've been doing a good job of not getting depressed about it, I have to admit, I'm kind of bummed.

The accident was just an accident, couldn't get mad about it as I could easily understand how my quick stop for a school bus (their lights were flashing) just on the other side of the hill could have led to this little incident, but now the insurance companies are dragging their respective butts and I spent the weekend having to hitch rides with my mother. I'm not feeling very independent right about now.

Bright side, I haven't had to fill my gas tank up lately!

Isis award nomination

2007-04-15T14:36:42Z

So I'm am so terribly pleased to announce I was nominated for an Isis award (honoring secondary ship Stargate fan fiction) for "Together" under the categories of Angst/Drama and Romance/Fluff. A complete surprise and such an ego boost.

Unsurprisingly, the other nominated stories and authors all through the D/V category are top noch and well worthy of their inclusion. Some I hadn't been familiar with, but spent an enjoyable evening reviewing stories I'd read before and reading others I'd never run across so that I could vote fairly.

I did vote for myself under Romance/Fluff, but don't hold it against me too much. I freely admit to a certain bias there. lol.

With This Kiss, Chapter 5 (Debrief)

2007-04-10T02:54:09Z

Final Chapter for With this Kiss, there must be a better way of posting longer stories.

Daniel and Vala arrived at the briefing room just past the appointed time. Between talking with Vala (and then not just talking) Daniel barely had enough time this morning to complete a final translation that provided the last piece of the puzzle. Vala at the last minute slipped down to the commissary for a thermos of coffee. Their morning began rather early and though they both went back to bed for a few hours, neither received any additional rest. She figured if she was craving it, Daniel must be dying for a dose of caffeine.

General Landry sat at his customary position at the head of the table and General O’Neal flanked him at his right hand. Unsurprisingly, Sam was seated by Jack, with Mitchell and Dr. Caroline Lam next in line. Vala set the thermos on the table and then relieved Daniel of a few precariously tilting texts as he attempted to place all the pieces of the presentation down. Daniel smiled his thanks and Vala grinned back.

Landry cleared his throat. “Can we get started Dr Jackson? General O’Neil has been less than forthcoming about the purpose of this little get together, but promised you have an explanation.”

Jackson turned his attention away from Vala and on to those waiting for him to speak. His adjusted his glasses. “Yes, right. Mostly. First, Sam, am I guessing correctly that you have been having some unusual dreams?” She nodded. Daniel turned to and asked, “Mitchell, have you-”

Cam interrupted uncomfortably, “Yes, yes I’ve had a few weird ones lately. But what’s the big deal?”

Landry harrumphed. “This is about dreams? Jack, you beamed into Cheyenne Mountain because of dreams?” Jack smiled, half sheepish, half smug. Daniel held up his finger, asking for his patience and directed his question back to Col Mitchell. “Was Dr. Lam in them?”

Dr. Lam blushed and looked down at the table while Cam cringed. Jack took pity on him and answered. “Let’s cut to the chase. Yep, Lam’s in Mitchell’s dreams and Mitchell has been featured in Lam’s”

Landry rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked somewhat disturbed. “Should I be hearing this?”

Jack gave him a sympathetic look and went on, “and before you ask I’ve been in Sam’s and vice versa.”

“Hmm, so the emulsion only needs to be applied by one individual,” Daniel mumbled to himself.

“Dr Jackson! I would really appreciate a speedy resolution to this conversation. What’s going on?” Landry demanded.

“Yeah, Jackson,” added Gen O’Neil. “Let’s get to the part that explains that intimate scene in the hallway this morning outside of Vala’s quarters.” Sam elbowed him. “Oww.”

General Landry looked back and forth between Jackson and Vala expecting to find their resident archeologist fuming. He did not expect to see the two of them smiling and exchanging a look too intimate for this early in the morning and or in public. “Would someone please explain this?” He begged.

“Sorry sir,” Daniel wiped his smile off his face and got right to the point. “For a little over a month the members of SG1 have been having mutual dreams.” He smiled a bit and added, “Something that I’ve only recently discovered.”

Landry scratched his head. “The team has been having the same dreams?”

“Actually sir,” Sam said, “it has been less like a dream sequence than a succession of visits to the same location with another individual. In my case, every night I found myself and Jac…ah, General O’Neil at his lake cabin. The dreams were very vivid and unlike typical ones, very easy to recall. Though odd, there was nothing threatening or really alarming about them. Then about a week ago, I had a dream in which the dream version of Jac...ah General O’Neil spoke of an upcoming mission. Yesterday, when we returned and received upcoming mission details, well I was already aware of them from my supposed dream conversation. That is when I contacted Jac…ah, General O’Neil.”

Landry thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “Mitchell, you had this mutual dream with Caroline?”

Mitchell looked horrified. He sputtered his reply, “No, I didn’t, I mean I didn’t know. I thought, I thought it was just one of those dreams.”

Landry frowned. “What kind of dreams would that be?”

Mitchell’s eyes bulged. “Ah, just the reoccurring kind, sir, at a bowling alley, sir.”

Landry shook his head. His daughter was doing her best not to be noticed and he was pleased to oblige. “Jackson, you and Vala?” Landry asked.

“A garden.”

“And this incident that occurred earlier this morning outside of Ms Mal Doran’s rooms? Did you two finally work past this fight that you’ve been trying to pretend you weren’t having for the past week?”

“I’ll say they did.”

“Jack!” admonished Sam.

Daniel glanced at Vala. She smiled smugly and raised an eyebrow, waiting to hear what he would say. “Let’s just say that the dreams provided an opportunity to enhance our communication skills.” Vala snorted. “Anyway, in the course of last night’s dream, it occurred to Vala that we might be experiencing the same dream.”

“Ok, alright, but how could this have happened?” Landry asked.

Daniel pushed up his glasses. “About five weeks ago the team, minus Teal’c, visited Parimay, that’s P392X42. You might remember the culture on Parimay. They radically kept unmarried persons separate in their society. Men and women under a certain age never even sat in the same room together.”

“Yes, I remember.” Sam interjected. “Until they married or reached a certain age, no women even spoke to a man outside of her family and yet, the women Vala and I spoke to said their culture didn’t believe in arranged marriages.”

“We were told the same thing from the men. Their scholars gifted us with a few ancient texts they could no longer translate. Most of it is romantic poems wrapped in tales of midnight journeys to pastoral settings.” Daniel looked sheepish. “I, ah, actually stopped working on the translations for a while partly because I thought the poems were the source of inspiration for my dreams and of course the discovery of the tablets on the gamma site occupied my time too and…”

Landry interrupted, “Yes, yes go on.”

Daniel cleared his throat. “One of the legends spoke of patch of earth where lovers would meet. Or I thought it was a legend. On closer examination this particular story seems more like instructions that end with a recipe to create a balm to allow the recipient to tap into the dreams of another. The other stories, fables, and poems are intended as accounts of these mutually shared dreams. They’re tales of courtships.”

“So the good people of Parimay found a way to spend time with the opposite sex while remaining in completely chaste circumstances.” Landry observed.

Daniel nodded. “The dreams even were rigged to evaporate if the participants crossed the lines of propriety.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, “For example?” Sam rolled her eyes.

“Well passionate kissing, or likely the chemical reaction in the dreamer’s bodies. The change of hormone levels and the increase of heart rate triggered some kind of failsafe and they woke up”

“But,” Vala contributed, “as long as they behaved themselves, they had complete alone time, a chance to talk and interact.” She gazed at Daniel, “A chance to truly get to know one another.”

General Landry once again looked back and forth between Dr Daniel Jackson and Ms Vala Mal Doran. This time he wasn’t seeing flashes of lust leap between them. Oh, the fire was still there, but it was tempered by respect, admiration, and yeah, love. Well, Landry thought, it’s not like he wasn’t expecting them to get here eventually; he just hadn’t thought they’d arrive so soon. He shook his head. Civilians, he thought with a hint of condescension until he intercepted the look that passed between Dr Carter and General O’Neil.

He sighed but comforted himself that technically no regulations were being broken. O’Neil was out of her chain of command; which was good because there was no way he was going to get in the way of something all reports told him was ten years in the making.

He steeled his will and glanced over at Caroline and Mitchell. Thank God! No looks of eternal love there. Both were nervously trying to avoid looking at each other, still obviously in the early stages of attraction. He could ignore that for now.

“So, Dr. Jackson, what do we do now?”

Daniel scrunched up his forehead and rubbed an eyebrow. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Echoed Landry incredulously.

“According to the translation, the effects of the balm will dissipate after about thirty to thirty-five nights of dreaming, so the shared dreaming will just end on its own.”

“Fine, but Caroline, I want you to get a blood sample from everyone, including yourself, for analysis. Mitchell, coordinate with Walter and set up gate time tomorrow for a return visit to P392X42. Daniel, did you figure out how this solution came in contact with our people?”

“The ceremonial washing just before we departed.”

Landry turned to look at Col Mitchell, “You allowed this?”

Cam shrugged, “It was just the feet and hands, sir.”

Vala toyed with a section of her hair, “I thought it odd that they decided to pull ceremonial washing at the end of the visit. Normally that little service pops up right away, but still, it would have been uncommonly rude to refuse.”

Daniel nodded. “I think we will find the shared dreaming was either bestowed on us as a gift or a test. Either way, I believe those in charge on Parimay will be pleased with the success rate of their experiment.”

“I know I am.” All heads turned toward General O’Neil. “What? Am I supposed to pretend that Sam getting anointed with some kind of love potion wasn’t the best thing to happen to me in the past few years? Am I supposed to just ignore Danny here grinning like he discovered the secret to the universe? When you go back to Parimay, send them my thanks. Hell, invite them to my wedding.”

Sam reached for his hand. “Our wedding, sir,” she insisted.

Jack lifted her hand and placed a tender kiss on it. When he looked at Samantha Carter, his face softened with affection. The customary twinkle in his eyes brightened and a satisfied smile settled on his lips.

Daniel stood behind Vala’s chair and placed a hand on her shoulder. Vala reached up and placed her hand over his. Deeply happy that two of his oldest friends had finally found happiness together he simple said, “Congratulations, Sam, Jack.” His emotions were running too close to the surface to say more. Vala added her sincere best wishes too.

Jack’s grin turned mischievous. “So, how long before you two join us in the walk down the matrimonial isle?”

Vala twisted around to look at the man standing behind her. “Daniel, how long is a typical earth engagement?”

Daniel squeezed her shoulder, “As short as we want to make it.” Life at the SCG had impressed upon him the fragility of life. He wasn’t going to waste any more time than he already had.

“Damm,” Jack swore in admiration and amusement. “You work fast.”

Vala preened a little, “Thank you.” She rather liked this General O’Neil; he seemed like a perfect foil for Sam. His lively sense of humor would keep her from becoming to stodgy, while her steady love already seemed to ease some of the long-standing grief that always lingered just behind his smile.

Jack clapped his hands together. “This calls for a celebration. How about lunch? Cake anyone?”

Landry interrupted, “Blood samples taken at the infirmary first, then you can go have lunch.” He shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. “Congratulations to all of you. You are dismissed.”

THE END

With this Kiss, Chapter 4 (Good Morning)

2007-04-10T02:50:42Z

Chapter four

His gaze dropped to her lips as she moistened them. “I hoped,” his voice deepened, “I hoped that one day I wouldn’t see you and desperately desire to kiss you without having to worry about waking up.” He leaned forward the few inches that separated them and sought her lips, but instead found her hand plastered over his mouth.

“Wait just a minute,” she demanded. “If you kiss me, then this dream is over and we are by no means through with this conversation.” Daniel looked at her quizzically. “There is no way I’m going to fall for such an illogical explanation. You say you fell in love with dream Vala, so you don’t know how to act around the real me?”

Daniel sighed and mumble against her hand, “It’s true.”

“No,” Vala shook her head, sarcasm flavoring her voice. “I don’t think I’ll be believing that. It is a nice boost to the ego, but there is a fatal flaw in your logic. You dream boy, are not having this dream, I am.” She uncovered his mouth and punctuated her remark by tapping him on the nose.

Daniel closed his eyes and sought patience. “Vala, I’m not getting into a ludicrous conversation with some illusory copy that my mind made up to keep me entertained during REM sleep.”

She rolled her eyes. “This is preposterous, I’m the one dreaming. I’ve had this bizarre dream all month. Oh, and as for proof that you are just my imagination, I’m forced to bring up that outlandish tale you tried to make me believe. The one about acquiring a wife without noticing?”

“I told you the truth about Sha’re.”

“Of course dream Daniel would say that.”

“Ask Jack, or I’ll get you the reports, only, damm it. I’m arguing with myself again.” Frustrated, Daniel rolled off Vala onto his back and covered his eyes with the back of his forearm. Vala turned on her side to face him, leaned on her elbow and propped her head on her hand.

“This is a hopeless conversation,” Daniel muttered.

“Yes, I suppose so,” she said contemplatively.

Daniel partially lifted his arm and glanced at Vala. She was frowning and blinking in confusion or deep thought. “What?” He prompted.

“Hmm?”

“What are you thinking now?”

“Just that these dreams have always been rather odd.” She paused and then asked, “Daniel, what did you mean about the dreams changing? You said after you irrationally abandoned our friendship, that the dreams stopped or at least changed.”

Daniel sat up to defend himself. “I wasn’t being irrational…”

Vala interrupted him, waving away his objections. “Just tell me about the dream.”

Daniel flopped back down. “This last week I didn’t have the dream every night and when I did, I was trapped here by myself. I didn’t think you were coming back.”

“Daniel, I haven’t had this dream or any other dream in the last week, not since your asinine assertion that we just worked together.”

He ignored her side comments. “So?”

“I find it rather odd that I’m dreaming you telling me about your dreams.”

Daniel’s exasperation reemerged, “Maybe because I was the one having the dreams and not you.”

“No, I don’t think so. I think there is more to this.” Vala sat up. “Daniel, have you ever heard of anyone having the same dreams?”

Daniel tucked his arms under his head and tapped into his almost endless supply of knowledge. “Well, humans as a people tend to have a number of dreams which almost everyone has dreamed in the same manner, and of which we are accustomed to assume that they have the same significance in the case of every dreamer. There is the late for a test dream, the chase dreams, and the naked in public dream.”

“As interesting as that sounds, I meant having the same dream at the same time, sharing a dream.”

“No,” he shook his head. “Well, some of the more outlandish new age crowd fantasizes about mutual dreams and astral projection. Also there is a tribe on Eirles that commonly supplies all participants of a festival hunt with a vision inducing serum. The result is a kind of communal trance. And then there is the people of Parimay, that’s P39…,” Daniel stopped abruptly.

Dawning comprehension spread across his features. He sat up hastily while his mouth opened and closed in a fish like manner.

“What? What is it about Parimay? Didn’t we visit that planet about five weeks ago?”

Daniel stared straight ahead and answered slowly. “It was after we visited Parimay that I started having these dreams.”

Vala leaned forward, confused about the connection. “Yes, I think that is right. But what does that have to do with anything?”

Daniel swallowed hard before turning to face Vala. He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and then a wave of elation swept through him, head to toe. Grinning like a maniac he said, “I tell you in just a minute.” He lunged and pulled Vala forward onto his lap, snaking a hand through the luxuriant hair at the back of her skull.

Without thinking, Vala wrapped her arms around him. “Daniel, what are you doing?”

Still grinning he said, “Shut up and kiss me.” He ignored her half-hearted protest and devoured her with his kiss. The familiar rush of heat, pleasure, and rightness flashed through his blood, just like it had every time they kissed in the garden and if he was being honest, just like the first time their lips met on the Prometheus. On Prometheus, nothing had confused him more and he called her crazy, but now he kissed her like she was the only path to sanity.

Vala groaned and sank deeper into the heady mix of comfort and unadulterated lust that Daniel always inspired. In the back of her mind, she knew that with this kiss, her dream would be come to an end, but conscious thought was beyond her. She gripped his shoulder with one hand and buried the other in his hair, trying to pull him closer, trying to get nearer to the heat and light that blazed within him. Trying to stave off that bitter, desolate moment when she found herself once again alone in her bed.

Vala woke up. She bolted upright, gasping for breath and immediately fighting back tears. Not again. It was just a dream. It never happened. She pulled her knees up close to her chest. She wrapped her arms around them and rocked back and forth, trying to keep her heart from breaking.

Bang, bang, bang! Vala froze. BANG, BANG, BANG!!! The thumping on her door grew louder. “Vala, open the door. We need to talk.” It was Daniel. She flew across the room and had her hand on the door handle before caution exerted itself.

She leaned close to the door and without opening it, called to him. “What do you want Daniel?”

“Vala let me in.”

“Why should I?”

“I said I’d explain in just a minute. Please open the door.” The door opened and Daniel immediately noticed the navy blue t-shirt Vala wore provided a nice contrast with her long, pale legs. Her dark hair was loose about her shoulders and mussed from restless sleep. Her pink lips were firmly compressed together, but still, her chin trembled slightly. Her eyes were red rimmed, guarded and yet vulnerable.

Vala waited with her heart pounding, daring to hope and hoping she hadn’t misunderstood the significance of his words. Before he spoke, in the seconds that stretched like eternity, she drank in his presence, noting the crumpled state of his BDU’s and the pink creases on his cheek. He must have fallen asleep at his work table again.

“Vala, I..,” he paused and looked around the corridor. It was just past dawn and already the hallway was beginning to bustle with activity. He noticed several curious glances directed their way. Their little conversation featuring Vala standing half naked in the door was sure to be all over the base by breakfast and Daniel couldn’t care less. “Vala, you and I have an unfinished conversation to complete, but first I want to say good morning.”

Confused, Vala parroted back, “Good morning.”

“No,” Daniel smiled and raised his hands to cup her face, “that’s not how I wanted to say good morning.” He lowered his mouth. Hers parted slightly in surprise. Soft lips, heated breath. Sunshine. Sweetness. Home.

A brief kiss, an easy kiss laced with joyful familiarity. She held onto the front of his black cotton shirt and tried to form a coherent thought. “D...Da...Daniel you...I…,” Vala was distracted from her confused ramblings when Daniel leaned in for a second kiss, just as appealing as the first. They were interrupted by a wolf whistle followed by applause. Daniel and Vala jerked back noticing a crowd had gathered to watch, a crowd that included a slack-jawed Cam Mitchell and an enthusiastically clapping Samantha Carter.

The perpetrator of the whistle draped his arm proprietarily around Sam’s waist. The General wagged his scarred eyebrows at the couple and said, “I’m going to guess you have a theory about all this?” He said gesturing to include himself, Carter and also Cam and a nervous looking Dr. Lam.

Daniel smiled unashamed. “I do, kind of a work in progress,” he said nodding toward Vala.

Jack held up a hand, “Say no more. Shall we agree to meet for debriefing; I mean a discussion of this theory at ten-hundred hours?”

Daniel nodded again, ushered Vala back into her room and closed the door tightly on the crowd behind them.

Vala cocked her head to the side and looped her arms lightly around Daniel’s neck. “So you have a theory that explains everything?”

Daniel laced his fingers together behind the small of her back. “I believe I do.”

“This theory, it explains some truly spectacular dreams and not to mention, a few very memorable kisses?”

“More than memorable, they were unforgettable kisses. And yes, I have a working theory. It started with you figuring out that we’ve been sharing the same dream.”

“I’m not all that adjusted to the notion. By the time I woke up, I was back to being certain none of it was real, and that you,” Vala was trying to be casual but her voice broke, “that you still hated me.”

Daniel pulled Vala closer and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m so sorry. I was hurtful and behaved stupidly. I never hated you.” He pressed his lips to her hair. “I was just confused and frustrated. I kept thinking that I shouldn’t feel the way I feel toward you. I was afraid that my imagination, some crazy fantasy, would keep me from every really seeing the real you. I was also embarrassed by all the things I wanted to say.”

“And now?” She prompted pulling slightly back from his embrace so she could see his expression.

He smoothed the hair back from her face. “I’m not ashamed. I want you to know, I want the whole base to know how much you mean to me.”

Vala flashed a pert smile, “Good to know, since by now the whole base likely does know.”

“As long as you know.” Daniel stared into her glistening grey eyes. “Vala Mal Doran, you’ve knocked my world upside down from the day I met you. I’d forgotten how to live each day for the mystery and joy it could bring. I was just existing. I’ve found it easier to escape into ancient tablets and manuscripts than risk getting emotionally involved in my own life. I was becoming nothing more than another dusty relic. You make me feel alive. You challenge me, and at times drive me crazy, but I can’t imagine a future that doesn’t include you. I love you, whatever out future brings.”

Tears spilled from her eyes. “Please tell me that this isn’t just another dream. I don’t think I could take the disappointment.” Vala slid a hand down until it rested over his beating heart.

“This isn’t a dream.” He promised softly

“So, you are really here. This is you Daniel?”

A smile blossomed on his face. “Yeah, this is me.” He took her hand and laced their fingers together. “This is us. We are real.”

She looked at their intertwined hands, a symbol of their intertwining lives. She was tangled up in this man, had been since they first met. For ten years, she lived life on her own terms, hardening her heart to what she could not have, depending on no one, and existing completely alone. She tightened her grip on his hand.

“I think,” she confessed, her voice steady and sincere, “I think I need you. No,” she shook her head ruefully, “I know that I need you. I don’t know how it happened. Since my days as Qe’tesh, since the last time I left my village, I made it my top priority not to need anything I couldn’t slip in my pocket and carry with me.”

Daniel smiled at her perplexed confession.

“Something about you won’t let me go and now, I don’t want to go. But I’ll have you know one thing,” Vala continued “, the dreams we shared didn’t make me fall in love with you…”

Scowling, he interrupted, demanded an explanation. “What do you mean you didn’t fall in love with me?”

His fierce frown made Vala laugh. “Darling, I only meant to say the dreams didn’t make me fall in love with you.” She patted him on the cheek. “I was already there.” Daniel turned his head, captured her hand, and pressed a kiss to her palm, stealing her breath. She shivered and tried to finish what she was saying.

“The dreams did make me realize how essential it was to have you in my life. When you turned from me I couldn’t sleep, eat; I wasn’t functioning properly. You’ve become necessary for survival.” Vala paused and added emotionally, “I’ve missed you terribly.”

Daniel kissed her temple, “I missed you too.” Vala sighed, closed her eyes, and nestled closer to his heat. Daniel brushed his lips against her forehead and then dipped lower to anoint each eye. Vala wound her arms around his neck and stretched to meet his mouth when it searched out hers. Daniel kneaded the soft flesh at the small of her back and speared his finger through her hair. They walked of one mind back in her room until Vala’s knees bumped into her bed, still warm and rumpled from when she woke.

She momentarily awoke from the drugging effect of his nearness and touch. “Daniel?”

He rested his forehead against hers. “Yes, Vala?”

“Does this mean we’ve started dating?”

Daniel groaned and then chuckled. “I think we are several stages beyond mere dating.”

“Oh?”

“I’d say we are at the troth plighted stage.”

Vala inhaled sharply and let him feel the bite of her nails, “Be careful of your promises, I’ll hold you to them.”

Daniel gazed down at her fierce, lovely, and hopeful face before bending and sweeping her up off her feet. “You damm well better,” he growled and laid her gently on the bed. With This Kiss: Chapter 5 (Debrief)

With this Kiss, chapter 3

2007-04-10T02:40:45Z

The breeze toyed with her hair, seeking and lifting it carelessly before retreating and returning twice as strong. The garden had changed since her last visit, Vala could sense it, but not entirely understand the cause. The flower beds remained just as neat and tidy as before, but the light was harsher and she squinted against the unexpected glare.

She shivered as the temperature dropped when she came near to the grassy hill by the stream where she and Daniel sat and had talked that first time.

No, Vala reminded herself sternly. That had never happened. She should hardly get upset over a memory of a foolish dream. Still, she easily recalled the warm bond, the roots of deep emotion that found fertile ground in her heart. She sighed and pressed her fingertips to her eyes, unconsciously trying to push back more than just the burning sensation in her eyes. A moment later, she dropped her hands to her sides. Denying her pain, here at the site of so much happiness, seemed pointless.

But just being in the garden seemed pointless too. Why was she even having this dream? Vala decided she must be a bigger fool than she’d realized. She hated the weakness in her that wanted to wallow in pretend, to block memories of the here and now and just absorb the sensation of seeing her heart’s desire smile back at her. Maybe that is why her subconscious brought back the garden. Maybe she needed a chance to say goodbye, or a chance to be the one doing the rejecting. The hot rush of indignation surged through her veins. This time she would push him away, she would reject him.

Vala turned her back on the grassy knoll and strode in the opposite direction, returning to the heart of the garden. She came upon Daniel sitting slumped on one of the granite benches facing the scarlet rose bush. His hung his head low and he clasped his hands together, loosely dangling them off his knees. Vala paused and watched him. He looked so dejected that all her thoughts of revenge disappeared. She knelt next to him and gently smoothed the hair at the side of his down-turned face. “Daniel, are you alright?” Concern made her voice husky.

He turned toward her voice, his eyes widening and the corners of his mouth edging toward a smile. Surprise and pleasure infused his voice and he expressed it simply by saying her name. Then a cold mask slid over his features. She shook her head in denial even as she recognized what the look signified. He jerked back from her touch and pushed her hand away with such force that it knocked her off balance and she landed ungainly on her bottom.

His swift rejection stunned and mortified Vala past the point of rationality, past caring from which Daniel she got answers. Daniel jumped up and peered down at her, furrowing his brow and looking at least slightly chagrined. Vala remained sitting and just demanded an explanation, “Why?”

“What? It was an accident…”

“No, I’m not talking about my little tumble. I’m asking a simple question, why?” Daniel’s continued confusing spurred her irritation. “Come now, do I really have to drag this out? Just tell me why I’ve gone from friend to pariah, from ally to outcast? ”

“It’s not like that. You haven’t gone from friend to pariah.”

Vala would accept nothing but the naked truth, “You’re right. I’ve not gone from friend to outcast. I’ve gone from colleague, to friend, to lover, to unwanted interloper.”

Daniel winced at her use of the word lover and the growing hurt and anger in her voice. “Vala, we’ve never...”

She cut him off, “Don’t you dare say it! I’m not a child and believe me I’m aware just what we have not done, but you can’t hide behind semantics. Yes, this is just a dream and yes out there we never progressed past good friends, but here, dammit; here in the garden you loved me.”

Daniel flinched and jerked back as if she struck him. Before he could recover, she rounded back with another knock-out punch, “And I fell for you. Not just the fantasy, but the whole man. So tell me, just tell me, what did I do to make you hate me?”

Daniel clenched his fists and looked pained. Through gritted teeth he said, “Vala, this isn’t real.”

She spun away from him and threw her hands up in the air, “Of course it’s not real Daniel, but dammed if I’m going to let a bloody little dream get the better of me.” She turned back to Daniel. Her eyes flashed with the promise of violence and this time she let her fists to do the talking. Her punch connected soundly along side his jaw.

His head snapped back and he staggered in surprise. Vala felt cold satisfaction, “Yes, this is much better than talking.” She danced in place, waiting for Daniel to recover and respond.

Daniel dabbed at the cut on his lip and came away with blood. He stared at it in shock. “You hit me!” He looked confused and then disgusted. “This is the most ridiculous dream. The Vala I know is past such petty aggression.”

“Ha!” Vala cried before kicking him in the stomach. Daniel staggered back and clutched his midsection. “As you just recently have pointed out darling, this is a dream. If my dream Daniel is as horrible to me real Daniel, then the only purpose you can possibly serve is as a punching bag.”

Daniel, still doubled over, groaned like he was in a great deal of pain. Vala hardened her heart. In real life never again could she bring herself to hurt Daniel like this, but for now, the opportunity was hers. Still, the longer he stayed bent over, the more concerned she grew until she gave into her worry and approached without caution. When she was within range, he grasped her shoulders, kicked her legs out from under her, and pinned her to the ground, using his weight to keep her from escaping. He blocked a well aimed knee so she mostly caught him in the thigh and captured her wrists before she could maim him in some other manner.

Vala heaved and struggled, but remained thoroughly restrained. She was breathing heavily and a corner of her mind was all too aware of all the delicious pressure points from his body to hers. She huffed and attempted to blow an errant strand of hair out of her eyes. “Your Dr Frodo would have a marvelous time with this one.”

Daniel was still gasping, trying to catch his breath and deal with her most recently inflicted pain. “Dr Frodo? What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know, that famous psychiatrist, the one obsessed with mothers, cigars, and all things kinky.”

Daniel shook his head in amusement, a lock of hair slipped down his forehead, partially covering one of his eyes, giving him a rakish look. He smiled, “You mean Freud, Dr Freud. What on earth…or elsewhere,” he added at her pointed look, “does Freud have to do with anything?”

“This dream, I was just wondering what he might have made of it.”

Daniel sighed. “I know I’ve never had any other dream like it.”

Vala smiled indulgently. If her hands had been free she would have patted his cheek. “But darling, you are just a figment of my obviously warped imagination.” Daniel looked like he had something to say, but Vala just kept talking. “I’m not sure what being pinned down helpless says about my subconscious desires.” She winced a little over her choice of words but brazened it out. “Naturally,” she said batting her eyelashes, “under normal circumstances I wouldn’t wonder, but honestly—don’t give me that look—honestly, right now I’m more interested in an explanation, any explanation for your abrupt attitude change.”

Vala frowned and rolled her eyes, “I’m going bonkers trying to figure out why you won’t talk to me anymore.” She grew serious and more introspective. “I must have done something or said something or at least forgot to do or say something. It must be my fault. Daniel wouldn’t act like he has without good reason.”

Daniel tried to get her attention, but she just ignored him, too caught up in her deductive reasoning.

“If I’m the cause, then deep down I must know the answer and this dream presents me with Daniel who in turn should channel my subconscious, but my subconscious isn’t talking. She shook her head despondently. “I just can’t take this anymore.” She turned her head to the side and closed her eyes; it was the only way she could avoid looking at Daniel, they only way to conceal her real anguish.

“Vala,” he entreated. “Vala, look at me,” he demanded gently. She blinked a few times to bat back tears and then faced him again, still frowning.

“Daniel, there is no…”

“Shh,” he whispered and laid a finger across her lips, releasing one of her hands in the process. Vala remained silent, but searched his face for a hint of what was to come. His forehead was creased and his eyes were squinting in the way they did when he was trying to come up with just the right words.

“I hate seeing you like this, so confused, so angry, so hurt. You didn’t do or say anything wrong.” He release her other hand and brushed back her hair. She closed her eyes and for a moment got lost in his tender caress, but this subject was too important not to pursue.

“You’re saying that it is not my fault you’re acting so coldly?” Vala could tell Daniel was about to agree when he closed his eyes, groaned and lowered his forehead to meet hers.

“Actually, how I treat Vala is your fault.” He raised his head again and scowled.

“What? You just said I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You didn’t, I mean Vala didn’t, not Vala in the real world,” he shook his head, frustrated but trying to be clear. He focused his gaze and all his attention on her. “You, you are here in my dreams; you, this unrelenting fantasy come true. You are ruining my life,” he told her helplessly.

Her heart sped up. “What? This doesn’t make sense.” Her eyes begged him to explain.

He cupped her face with one hand, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. “You are everything I have ever been attracted to in Vala, plus so open about you past, so accepting of mine. Someone I know I can trust.” He shook his head but did not remove his hand from her face.

“This can’t be healthy. Hell, I know it is not,” he said continuing to stroke her soft skin. “I can not look at Vala and not think of you. I can’t separate what I feel for you in this absurd dream from reality. In reality I do not know you this well. I thought it was over. The dreams stopped, or at least changed. I hoped life would eventually go back to normal.”

Older Daniel/Vala fic, With This Kiss

2007-04-10T02:34:52Z

Older fic done around the begining of 2007, yes very shippy. (Was posted on FFNet Dec-Jan 07)

Title: With This Kiss
Author: Bkwurm1
Rating: PG13, to be safe
Series: Stargate Sg1
Pairing: Daniel/Vala, some Sam/Jack in last couple chapters
Summary:
Vala is hurt and confused when Daniel acts coldly to her, maybe the answers are in her dreams.
Total of Five Chapters

Vala felt her heart speed up. She could not see him yet, but just the sound of his voice coming around the corner had her tense with anticipation and dread. She swallowed and briefly closed her eyes, searching for her years of experience with deception. Act normal. Smile. Flirt. Keep moving. Whatever it took. Don’t let him see you break.

Daniel was engrossed in the instructions he was giving a junior scientist on how the tablets from their last mission were to be cleansed. Maybe he wouldn’t notice her. Just don’t look into my eyes; I’m not very good at hiding this kind of emotion.

Daniel was fifteen feet away when he glanced up and saw her. He stopped mid-sentence and stiffened ever so slightly, his stride hesitating. She hated how obvious Daniel’s desire to avoid her had become. He resumed his instructions and they just exchanged nods as they passed in the hall, each avoiding the other’s eyes.

It was back. That dull pain under her heart. It wasn’t fair. She hadn’t done anything wrong. They were colleagues and yes, even friends and it seemed that Daniel was becoming more open to her, more relaxed. She would have sworn he was even pleased to see her when she walked through the door. She went to sleep at night happy, had wonderful dreams in which he starred, and then in the morning, she would bound out of bed eager to start her day, eager to learn of new things, see new places, and of course, see Daniel.

Then just a week ago, she walked through the door of the briefing room and their eyes met. His smile deepened and something sweet twisted next to her heart. She beamed back at him and then it happened. His eyes darted away. His face fell and a scowl appeared. He glanced back at her and it was as if he saw a stranger. Confused, Vala actually looked over her shoulder to see if someone was behind her. There was no one else.

She went to Daniel and asked him what was wrong. He just looked at her with such disappointment and said there was nothing wrong. He turned away and opened his briefing packet, burying his head in the pages of information for tomorrow’s mission. Before she could say anything more, General Landry came in and took his seat at the head of the table. The meeting started.

She took her seat and waited through the interminable discussion of ancient artifacts that could possibly be at their alpha site. All in all, Daniel’s repeated forays into ancient history prolonged the explanations and instructions by at least an hour. He never looked at her the whole time. When the meeting finally concluded, Vala waited until the others left and attempted to speak to him again.

“Daniel, wait, please. Tell me what’s wrong.” Vala tried to help Daniel stack his books, but he just brushed her hands away.

“I told you, nothing is wrong.” Daniel gathered up his pile of reference books and maps and turned to leave.

Following him to the door, Vala clutched his shoulder, “Stop, something is wrong. Daniel, I know you,”

Daniel froze in place, started shaking his head, and in a show of unprecedented temper, threw the books to the floor. Startled, Vala jumped back, speechless.

He wheeled back around to face her. Daniel kept shaking his head. His eyes narrowed and his lips compressed in a grim line. In a low, deliberate voice, edged with a growl, he said, “No, you don’t. You don’t know me. We barely talk. We don’t spend time together outside of work. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you and that is all there is to it.” He waved his arms, dismissing further arguments, and bent down to retrieve his books.

Vala was confused and hurt, “Daniel, I don’t understand. What did I do?”

Daniel sighed and looked up. Sounding very weary he said, “Nothing. Nothing has changed. We just work together.” He stood up and left without a glance back.

Vala found herself trembling and on the verge of tears. She desperately fled to her room, overwhelming grateful no one stopped to speak to her. She fumbled with her key card, not able to still her shaking hands. Finally, she was able to push open the door and fling herself on the bed. She wrapped her arms around a pillow and buried her face into it, muffling the first sob, and then the long keening wail that followed. Hot tears drenched the pillowcase and even as her weeping raged on, she railed against her actions

She did not cry. Crying was a luxury her life couldn’t allow. Crying never fixed the problem, never paid the creditors, never changed fate’s mind. It was a waste of time and a sure sign of weakness to her enemies. Life was hard and tears only ruined your make up.

However, since returning to the SGC, she hadn’t needed to be so guarded. Each night she slept on the base, not with one eye open, but secure in her physical safety. She was trusted, (well mostly), had real friends who looked out for her, believed in her. She had goals and a position on a team that proved she belonged. Most of all, she had hope. A kind of hope that allowed her to wish and dream and plan for something glorious. Maybe she did deserve that kind of happiness; maybe she did not.

She cursed herself the fool. Silly, juvenile fantasies that Vala thought she had given up with a long ago fiancé. She punched the pillow she clutched. Why had she even entertained the thought that someone like Daniel would want to be with her? Even her own father believed she was better suited to life as a Goa’uld host. Her stepmother insisted no one but the gods could control her. Her whole village was certain something was still intrinsically wrong with her once freed from Qe’tesh. Vala only knew then that she didn’t belong anywhere, with anyone. She embraced the freedom that brought, her own rules, her own agenda, with no emotional ties to bring pain or frustration.

For ten years, she lived life on her own terms, hardening her heart to what she could not have and just pursuing the bright, the gilded, and the sparkling things that could still make her heart trip from their beauty. Then she stumbled across a group of people unlike any she knew before. There was something so very…hopeful…about them. A strength relying on trust and not fear. A man shackled, yet not beaten. She sought them out, not able to resist being around that again. Yesterday, she would have said she had become a part of them.

What had changed so drastically since yesterday? Yesterday she and Daniel were friends. She was not fantasizing. She could think of nothing that could have changed their relationship. She felt a spark of hope. Vala rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. If she had done nothing different and Daniel had gone from friend to stranger, maybe if she just acted as if nothing was different, Daniel would go back to being friend. Exhausted, she fell into a deep dreamless slumber.

The next day Vala put her plan into action. Maintaining her outwardly cheerful façade was more difficult than she expected. Daniel still would not look her in the eyes and only spoke to her when it was directly mission related. He never lost his temper, never even got annoyed when she stacked his tablets in the wrong order. He was completely polite and impersonal. By the end of the day she felt tense and brittle, ready to shatter and break her mask of complacency. By sheer will, she held back. She acted normal, smiling and flirting with the team. Nothing has changed, she told herself.

That night, back on the base, she could not sleep. She just kept reliving the icy pain Daniel delivered just by treating her as a stranger.

The week went on. On mission days, she acted like nothing was different. On the days in between, she eventually realized he was avoiding her. Their paths did not cross and the door to his office was always locked. She could have bypassed it, but at least now, she was still on the same team as Daniel. If she broke into his office, would she lose her position in SG1? She didn’t want to take the chance.

After her third sleepless night, she went to the infirmary and got some sleeping pills. She wouldn’t risk lives by being exhausted on mission. She got the rest she needed, but hated how the pills completely knocked her out. She did not even dream.

The trip through the gate was without incident and they got back late in the evening, just a few hours earlier. She had eaten, showered, and tried to fall asleep without the aid of the sleeping pills, but could not. She was facing the facts that pretending nothing was different wasn’t fixing anything. She changed into workout clothes, headed to the gym, and that is when she passed Daniel in the hallway.

Instead of running on the treadmill, Vala spent a few hours pummeling the different punching bags available. Her anger and hurt was a motivated trainer. Her hands were sore and her muscle aching before she stopped. This time, after a hot shower, she felt asleep instantly and she dreamed.

It was that dream again. Even in her slumbering state, she recognized the irony of working herself into exhaustion to escape thinking about Daniel only to have the Daniel dream. The content of the dream constantly changed, but the startling lucidity of it combined with the familiar garden made Vala recognize it immediately. She had experienced this series of dreams every night over the past month, up until last week when she stopped sleeping. Her heart ached with the memories of them.

They were simple dreams and yet so very complicated. Vale would find herself walking alone through the garden paths. So large, the garden might have been likened to a park, complete with bridges leaping the babbling brooks. She would walk the garden alone, waiting until he found her. Sometimes he found her right away. Other times she wondered if she strolled the paths for hours.

In her earliest Daniel dreams, they would run into each other and Vala would flirt and tease while Daniel would explore the garden and try to learn its secrets. Invariably, in an effort to get his attention, Vala would pepper him with questions. Some he would answer, some he would ignore. Then one time, goaded by his lack of response, Vala broke the awareness barrier and shouted at Daniel, “Dammit, answer the question. This is a dream. Why won’t you just talk to me?”

Daniel stopped his examination of a granite-like pedestal, stood up, brushed off his hands and knees and said, “Your right, this is a dream.” Winding his arms around her, he captured her mouth in a soul-searing kiss. When it ended, Vala woke up.

The next night, she waited hours before Daniel arrived. When she saw him coming around the corner, she ran to him and leaped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. She whispered intimately in his ear, “Where were you? I missed you.”

Daniel buried his face in her neck and inhaled her sweetly exotic scent. “I was working late.” Vala stroked her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and he felt the tense muscles loosen. He groaned and confessed, “I was an idiot.” He cradled her face in his hands and nibbled on her lower lips before deepening the kiss. He traced the contours of her lips and then sought entry. He heard Vala lightly whimper.

Vala felt her head spinning as the kiss stretched on. When they broke apart for air, she woke up gasping and found her pulse still racing. She spent that day obsessively starring at Daniel’s mouth. That night the dream came again. Chapter Two

then

That night the dream came again.

Once again she was walking the path of the garden and vividly aware of the sweet scent on the breeze lightly wafting over flower beds. Daniel, when prodded, had been surprisingly adept at identifying the plants with the brighter and showier blooms. The luxuriant bush before her had deep crimson blossoms and a sweet, heady aroma. Roses, Daniel called them roses.

She stopped to enjoy their lush fragrance. To bring the flower closer, she grasped the stem, but cried out in pain when something sharp pierced her thumb. Before she could react further, Daniel was at her side and reaching for her offended hand.

“Let me see.” Using both hands to cradle hers, he gently examined her thumb.

“Daniel,” she said, sounding mildly offended, “the plant bit me.”

Daniel laughed softly and explained, “It was just a thorn.”

Their heads were bowed closely together. One of his hands held hers as his thumb skimmed over her knuckles and the other gently circled her wrist, tracing light patterns on the sensitive skin he found. Vala shivered. “Is it poisonous?” She asked in an unsteady voice.

Daniel shook his head, “No, it’s just a scratch,” and lifting her hand to his lips, placed a tender kiss on the pad of her thumb.

Vala stared, mesmerized by his gentle ministrations. Something stirred deep inside, something more profound than lust, something that left her breathless and thoroughly disconcerted. She closed her eyes and swallowed. This is just a dream, she reminded herself and sought to mask the sound of her heavily beating heart by complaining aloud, “It’s not fair that anything that beautiful should be so much trouble.”

“I think you just might have a lot in common with rose bushes.”

Each word he spoke sent little puffs of air to caress her cheeks and she felt the timbre of his voice resonating in her chest. Unable to look away from his eyes, she stammered, “Wha…what do you mean?”

Daniel continued to hold her hand in his. “I mean that you are beautiful, inside and out.” He flattened her palm over his heart using one hand, while he traced the contour of her face with the other. He raised one eyebrow and smirked, “I also mean that you are well able to defend yourself.”

Vala instantly thought of their first encounter and subsequent battle on board the Prometheus. She blushed and looked down and then felt the blush deepen due to her embarrassment because she was blushing. She couldn’t remember the last occasion it had happened.

Daniel placed a finger beneath her chin and lifted her face so she was once more gazing directly into his eyes and whispered, “And finally, I mean that I find the blossom well worth the risk of thorns.”

If her heart hadn’t fallen all the way before, it willingly completed the journey now. With its descent, Vala gave a piece of her soul. She gasped, knowing never again could she live strictly for herself and knowing, dream or not, there was no way to get it back. Fear constricted her heart. How would she satisfy this longing for the same gift from Daniel? How would she survive the coming pain if she didn’t get it?

Her whole life was based on hiding behind an image, shielding the most vulnerable core from the countless casual cruelties inflicted by those claiming to care. She felt exposed, out of control, and frightened by how deeply she needed what was offered in Daniel’s warm gaze. He shifted his mouth closer to hers, her heart tripped and sped up, but she pushed back from his embrace, fighting her complete surrender.

“Wait, Daniel,” she begged, her breath coming in broken gasps, holding a hand up to hold him at bay.

A furrow creased his brow and he looked confused. At his sides, his hands flexed repeatedly, like he was fighting the urge to reach for her again. He tilted his head and asked, “What’s wrong?” He suddenly appeared as vulnerable as she felt.

Vala moistened her lips and swallowed, searching for an explanation for her unexpected rejection of his offered kiss. Remembered sensations from last night’s and the previous night’s dream flashed through her. Nothing compared to the power of those kisses that marked the ending of her dreams. She seized a hold of a notion. “Daniel, you must know how very much I want you, want to be in your arms this very moment, but we had so very little time together last night. And the night before, everything ended when we kissed. I’m afraid that the kiss somehow triggers an end to our time together.” The more she spoke, the more she believed what she said.

Daniel looked away and squinted in a physical manifestation of his desire to see the situation more clearly. He ran a hand through his hair and raggedly exhaled before he looked back at Vala. His forehead smoothed and he nodded. “You might be right. Why don’t we sit and just talk for awhile.” He smiled and held out his hand. “There’s so much I want to know.”

A little fearful about his possible reaction to her checked past, Vala still could not refuse his invitation. She placed her palm to his and followed wordlessly when he led them past a stone bench, past the fiercely structured confines of the garden plots, and off of the garden path entirely. Had he been leading to the edge of the universe, she would still be willing to follow, but he settled them at the bottom a grassy slope along side of the clear stream snaking through the garden. They sat shoulder to shoulder and for a while just enjoyed the easy silence between them.

Daniel was the first to break the quiet. “So, were you telling me the truth?” He plucked a blade of grass and twirled it between his fingers. “That time when I found you in my bedroom on base.”

Vala saucily raised an eyebrow. “You mean when you so rudely kicked me out?”

Daniel cheekily grinned and added, “Out on your cute little butt.”

“So you noticed?”

“I noticed a lot of things.” His grin faded. “I noticed I hurt your feelings that night. I’m sorry.”

“What’s that saying? Sometimes the truth hurts? That’s one reason why I try to avoid it so much, just on principle.” That statement earned Vala a raised eyebrow. She continued more seriously, “I will have you know that you weren’t entirely correct.”

“No?”

“I may in my colored past have used the promise of sex or the illusion of sex as a means to an end, a way to control the situation. And I’ll admit I do terribly enjoy saying something outrageous just to knock you off your toes.” At his smug smile, she wagged a finger at him and scolded, “There is such a thing as being too calm and too sure of yourself.”

He caught her hand and laced his fingers through hers, but said nothing, just nodded for her to continue.

The heat radiating from his palm was distracting, but she continued. “But, I was not in your bed merely as a way to exercise control.”

“Why were you there?”

“Do you really find it so hard to believe that a woman could find you desirable on your own merits?”

“That’s why you snuck into my bed and ambushed me? Because you couldn’t resist my merits?” Daniel teased.

“While they are numerous, darling,” Vala purred and clucked him under his chin before plucking a small weed and examining it, “I will admit I rather doubted you would take up my offer.”

“If you thought I’d kick you out, why were you there?”

Hesitantly Vala answered, “I was lonely and besides, usually you yelling at me is wildly entertaining on its own.”

Genuinely curious, Daniel asked, “What If I had taken you up on your offer?” The heated look she flashed him was nearly more of an answer than he could take.

“Then we would have had a marvelous night and,” Vala added, “I might have been able to walk away before you got quite so far under my skin. I could have labeled you just another man. Then again, maybe not,” she muttered under her breath, “after all, I had already spent the better part of a year setting up a reason just to find you and your people.”

Vala suddenly realized she was still speaking aloud and cringed. “Can we just pretend I didn’t say that last part?” Mortified, she hid her face in her hands. “See, this is why I do not find confession helpful. Not at all cleansing or whatever or other sort of nonsense the do-gooders are spouting on about. You don’t want to know this.”

“I don’t want to know what? That you came halfway across the galaxy not for a lost treasure, but to see me?”

“Well, eighty percent you, twenty percent the treasure.”

Daniel fell quiet. Vala sat on tenterhooks waiting for his reaction. Finally she could take the suspense no more. “Say something!” She pleaded.

Daniel tossed the blade of grass he was toying with to the ground. He shook his head ruefully. “I’ll probably never admit this again, but I was glad to see you.”

Tears sprang to her eyes. “Really? I thought I got it all wrong and you hated me.”

A mischievous sparkle twinkled in the corner of Daniel’s eyes. “Well eighty percent wanted to see you and twenty percent wanted to run the other way.”

“Not the other way around?”

“It flip-flopped some.” Daniel picked up her hand again. “You haven’t answered my question yet. Were you telling me the truth that night? About your village trying to stone you? About the fiancé?”

Vala looked pained. “Mostly. I had been engaged, but I broke it off when I realized he never wanted to do anything but grow old in the village.” She looked into his eyes, hoping to find understanding. “I wanted to see the world. I wanted him to come with, but he made his choice clear.” Vala tilted her head back, stared at the heavens and sighed. “Just before I was to leave, I was offered up as a host by my village. Qe’tesh was agreeable.”

Daniel was both confused and horrified. “What do you mean offered you up?”

Vala glanced at Daniel and could read the pity in his eyes. Pity is not what she wanted. “They came, the Goa’uld, every so often looking for workers or hosts. Usually they sent an envoy with their specifications to the town elders. Sometimes, the elders made it easier for the Jaffe to find what they were looking for. It doesn’t matter anymore; it happened a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t matter how long ago it was, it’s still despicable.”

Daniel’s dark scowl on her behalf made the past more bearable. “I’m inclined to agree with you darling. Still, once I was freed from Qe’tesh, I no longer had the same desire to travel the universe. The simple village life held great appeal.” She frowned and something haunted flitted through her eyes, “The villagers didn’t agree.” She shrugged carelessly. “For the best though, I would have been dreadfully bored.” She flashed Daniel a smile, but it didn’t quite flush out the old ghosts in her eyes.

Daniel scooted closer and put his arm around her shoulder. Vala gratefully leaned into him and with a sigh, put her head on his shoulder. He brushed a kiss against her temple and whispered, “I’m sorry.” Not a declaration of pity, but affirmation that she had not deserved such treatment. A long forgotten pinched place near her heart eased. In some bleak corner of the mind, Vala had harbored doubts, wondering if she was fundamentally lacking.

“Tell me about your wife.”

Daniel was silent for a moment and then with warmth and his fond memories apparent in his voice, began telling her tales of Sha’re. Vala found much of what he told her familiar but marveled how her mind mixed fact with unexpected bits from her fertile imagination. Given his wife as a gift? She still wasn’t going to fall for that one. Once Daniel had revealed Sha’re’s existence, Vala started discreetly asking questions and reading reports. Several soldiers tried selling her the old “Sha’re was a present” story. Like she would believe that! Researching Dr Daniel Jackson had become a hobby of hers, but she enjoyed the conversation her dream generated too much to worry over tomorrow and the need to separate truth from fiction in the waking world.

And so the night continued with the two of them talking, laughing, and sharing history that shaped who they were today. The next morning, Vala woke feeling at peace, as if her constant companion, restlessness, had moved on. The day kept getting better. After the briefing, Daniel seemed more amiable and receptive to her thoughts, ideas and generally more relaxed in her presence. Vala figured not baiting him during briefing must have contributed to his mellow mood.

That pattern repeated the rest of the month. She went to sleep at night happy over a new friendlier relationship with Daniel during the day and then had wonderful dreams at night in which she often felt Daniel was courting her. Courting was a lovely old fashioned phrase that seemed appropriate since her dreams remained as chaste as a chaperoned spinster because any round of passionate kisses always induced a premature end to the dream. Rather than waste such a precious opportunity, they walked through the garden or sat by the waters edge holding hands, sharing secrets or just speaking of what was happening in the waking world.

A week had past since Daniel stopped smiling at her. Seven days of cold indifference and calculated avoidance. This was the first night she had dreamed since Daniel started seeing her as a stranger. Would she be able to find solace in her idyllic dream relationship with Daniel, or would the imitation be too bitter to take, now that reality had so miserably soured? She walked the garden path and waited to find out. With this kiss chapter 3 .

Procrastination and babble

2007-04-05T02:31:11Z

So instead of hopping in the Pt Cruiser and hitting the gym, I'm procrastinating (have been for the last two hours) and tweaking the look and feel of this page. I like it, so that's a start.

I'm still running into a large mental roadblock when it comes to free-flowing journaling. I've this filter that keeps popping up in my brain and saying "No don't say that!" Hey, maybe it's a good thing. Of course, this useful filter doesn't have a tendency to engage when there is live human conversation. Oh no, then it just lets every stray thought fly out of my mouth. One out of five witty comebacks might actually deserve the title, but still they keep on coming.

OK, my four year old nephew just told me to go workout -- out of the mouth of babes ect,

Night for now.

Together, Daniel, Vala, fiction

2007-04-04T02:40:45Z

Didn't post it quite right the first time. Chapter 1 is in the below post and here is Chapter 2

Together
Stargate Sg1
Daniel and Vala
Spoilers for Dominion and Unending
Rating: PG
Chapter 2

Daniel turned his back on her and savagely raked his hands through his hair. “You could have been killed!” He shouted.

“I didn’t care!” She yelled back.

Daniel froze and slowly turned to face her. A tinge of hysteria entered her voice. “Why do you think I’m panicking right now? Why in the weeks since I came back I’ve been desperately cramming activity into every corner of my life? I don’t want to think about what I did, what I might do again faced with the same circumstances. Nothing mattered anymore!”

He took a step forward, but Vala retreated and left him looking at the thick, dark mass of hair trailing loosely past her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around her torso again. “Everything I worked for, everything I cared about was lost and I was supposed to what…just start over? Leave everyone behind? Pick up the pieces and move on?” Her voice broke on a sob.

“Vala,” Daniel called her name quietly, his heart breaking over her pain.

Not done, Vala shook her head and her hair swished back and forth over her uniform. “I’ve been there before, left with nothing and starting over, and it’s hard.” Her voice cracked again and she paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve been there and I’ve done it more than once and do you know why I could do it before?”

“Why?”

“Because I was hard. I had to be. I didn’t rely on anyone, didn’t hope for anything, didn’t dream of anything and I didn’t care about anyone but me. To survive I couldn’t care.”

“Vala, stop it.” Daniel tried to get her to turn around and look at him. She shrugged off his touch and continued to bitterly shred her character.

“Nothing mattered as long as I got ahead, as long as I made the deal, as long as I could keep going. I had been used and betrayed and it was my turn to use and betray.”

He grabbed her arm and spun her around. “Just stop it!”

Her eyes flashed with rage, but in a heartbeat, they filled with tears that even pride could not hold back. The fat, silvery drops welled over and spilled down her cheeks unheeded. Her voice, stripped of fury, was colored by only contempt and fear. “But now, I’ve gone weak, soft. I saw Col. Reynolds and was instantly reminded that I hid like a coward. I didn’t argue or scream; I didn’t fight, I just slunk away and who is to say I wouldn’t do the same thing in the future? Who’s to say that next time I won’t just give up again?”

Daniel seized Vala by the shoulders and gave her a firm shake. “You’re wrong!” He seethed through clenched teeth. “Vala Mal Doran doesn’t give up, it’s not who you are.”

“But I did!”

Daniel shook his head. “No, you didn’t. The implanted memories were supposed to leave you sitting at the tavern and sulking until Adria happened by. You were not, I repeat, you were not supposed to risk your life cheating in a card game to obtain a cargo ship so you could reach any world in the universe, including worlds you could no longer travel to by Stargate.” He raised an eyebrow and gave her a knowing look, “Worlds like Earth.” Vala flinched; startled he had deciphered her half-formed plan.

Daniel caressed the soft skin on her cheek and a twinkle danced in his eyes. “You’re upset Adria showed the tiniest bit of sympathy over your plight, but how do you think I feel having to be eternally grateful she kept you from getting killed.” A chill passed through Daniel and he stopped smiling. Vala would have died thinking she was an outcast, all alone.

Alone.

It bothered him almost as much that he had been letting the new Asgard history database consume all his attention in recent weeks. No one questioned his fixation, but Daniel knew he deliberately immersed himself as a way to create a distance from his other growing passion. A way to help him just leave her alone.

Vala’s frenzied attempts to elude boredom had sparked a deeper fear in him; that her increasing mercurial behavior meant she was getting restless, that she was going to leave. He had been telling himself her frequent visits to his office were just another way to amuse herself, but now he realized he had fallen back into the same old trap, making the same mistake many others at the SGC still did. He stopped looking deeper.

He jumped to conclusions and didn’t stop to ask what was wrong. He let fear of being wrong and fear of getting hurt overtake his certainty about who was the real Vala.

On a surface level, she sparkled and glittered brightly enough to blind casual onlookers to her real depths of character. The indifferent observer didn’t see her loyalty and courage or her intellect and ingenuity. They wouldn’t perceive the great reserve of hope she layered intimately against an expedient and practical nature.

He marveled at the child-like wonder she retained even while it mixed readily with a heavy dose of cynicism, not recognizing how closely it mirrored his own outlook. Nevertheless, lately he started to push her away, afraid that his inability to easily reconcile her many seeming contradictions meant he was trying to see something that was not truly there.

How many times in the past weeks had he skimmed along her surface and never tried to look deeper? Would he have seen her fears? A fear he shared, that he too would be left weak and helpless if he needed and relied on others too much. Hadn’t he been fulfilling her fears by pretending not to need her?

He let his head fall forward until their foreheads touched. “You’re not weak,” he whispered as his hands ran up and down her arms. “It takes a different kind of strength to take up the risk of caring for someone, of relying on others. You’ve dared to trust, to let yourself need when repeatedly life tried to teach you a different lesson. You’ve been strong; have had to be for so long, but your life, as hard as it might have been hasn’t left you hard.”

Vala lifted her head and searched Daniel’s face for truth and something else. Daniel was always her giver of truth, maybe she was hoping to find more than a general compassion reflected back in his eyes. Maybe she was seeing it.

She lied before. She never stopped dreaming.

“You care,” Daniel said. “Even when it tears you apart, you care. Adria might not have been destined to be a real daughter, but it never stopped you from hoping.” A new tear fell. “Hoping and at the same time,” he paused and used his thumb to wipe it away, “pushing forward to stop her, even demanding her death.” He placed a kiss on her forehead thinking, yeah, they were just colleagues. Not in a million years would he really believe that.

His hands slipped off her shoulders, down her back, and pulled her close, rejecting his fears and giving in to what felt right. Vala dropped her head to his shoulder and clung in return to both the man and the words he was saying. He stroked her hair and said, “You are wrong if you think you could ever get in the same situation again. Maybe the memory device compensated for how you would behave, but it couldn’t take in account of how the rest of us would.” He held her face in his hands. “You will never find yourself in the same situation. Do you understand?”

Something flickered in her grey eyes. Faith. Belief. Only to be pushed back by pessimism. “I have to be realistic, If Adria becomes as powerful as we fear, she might attempt something, some kind of manipulation and well, that would be it.”

“It won’t happen.” Daniel grinned. “You are too stubborn for her to fool you.”

Vala could help but grin back. “I agree, but would have said clever rather than stubborn.” Her smile faded. “But what if I know, but the IOA still thought…”

Her insecurity ate at him. “It won’t happen. You have genuine friends that will not abandon you. Do you hear me? SG1 will not leave you behind. Neither would Landry nor hell, Jack either.”

“General O’Neil?”

“He likes the way you think. Says you’re good for me,” he casually replied. Her surprise and pleasure made him smile again. There were times when every thought running through this woman’s mind was as open to him as a book. Any remaining fear of being taking in by deception slipped away to be replaced by a gut level certainty. She was real.

Maybe that had always been his trouble. From the first time he met her, his instincts were at war with his intellect. His gut feeling could not be quantified or logically proven, so he waffled between certainty and insanity.

Something in the way she clung unconsciously to the front of his shirt, bunching the material un-seductively in her fists, made all his questions disappear. Something clicked deep inside and he knew he could trust his heart.

He ran his fingers through her hair, smoothing it back from her face and wanted Vala to know she could trust his heart too. “I do not believe you have it in you to meekly stand by, just giving in to fate, but I promise you this, if for whatever reason you cannot fight for yourself, I will.”

“What?” One word embodied all her longing and hope while still mingled with disbelief.

Warmth lit Daniels eyes and he made a vow. “I will shout, scream, and stamp my feet if necessary. Hell,” a rueful smile emerged, “I’ll probably do that even if you can still fight for yourself.” He gave her shoulders another small squeeze. “Remember that. I won’t give up.” He took a breath and made sure Vala was paying close attention. “I won’t give you up.”

Vala’s eyes shimmered and she bit her lip to stop it from trembling, afraid to breathe for fear of breaking this spell.

Daniel placed a kiss reverently on her temple. “I couldn’t give up when you destroyed the first supergate and the odds of your survival were infinitesimal. I wouldn’t give up when the Trust stole you out from under my nose. I’m not about to let anyone else steal you away. I know you Vala Mal Doran. You don’t give up either. It is not who you are.”

Daniel took his hand and covered one of hers, holding it pressed against his swiftly beating heart.

“I know if I were the one in trouble you would never stay silent. You could never sit meekly. You would always choose to fight. If you get knocked down, there is nothing that will keep you from getting back up again, but whatever happens, you can count on me being there to help.”

The power of his words stole her breath away and if not for the strength with which he held her, she wasn’t sure she would be able to stand steadily. Her wounded memories wavered and she felt the unsettling insecurity she lived with for the past months, no, for most of her life, vanish. Her heart told her Daniel was offering more than just unwavering friendship, but icy doubt stabbed and stole the courage she needed to ask plainly for his love.

Forcing her body to relax, she conjured up a pretty smile and a light teasing tone. “You might not know this, but on at least two planets I’ve visited, a pretty speech like that would constitute a marriage proposal.” She batted her eyes. “Just our close proximity would account for another four.” She tensed, waiting either for his discomfort to destroy the moment or for…something more

Daniel smiled into her hair. He knew she brought up proposals to shake him up, but he would not skim lightly on her surface, he looked deeper and didn’t let her teasing manner obscure what she was really asking--Was this real? He wouldn’t let her go on wondering. Life was too short to put off making the life he knew they both wanted and needed. He was lucky. He’d known love once before and it seemed he was getting another chance.

Daniel deliberately matched her light tone. “On Earth, engagements are often made in fancy restaurants accompanied by lots of champagne. Alternatively, during mass sporting events the question is asked involving a jumbo sized video screen. I think the public settings are used to encourage the appropriate response. But traditionally, actually dating precedes a proposal.”

“Oh,” she said not entirely masking her disappointment over his reply.

“But then I’ve never been much of a traditionalist.”

“What?” She lifted her head to look at him.

Daniel shook his head, amazed and grateful that life had brought him here. “Vala, I might be slow when it comes to interpersonal communication, but the fact can’t be lost on even someone as socially inept as I, that in the last five minutes I’ve vowed to fight to the end to keep you with me. I also nearly had a near panic attack at the mere retelling of your time on Xylon. And neither of those revelations address the fact that I have you wrapped in my arms and I’m not planning on letting you go.”

“It’s not like I’m asking,” she said somewhat grumpily staring at his shoulder.

“Good.” Daniel put a finger beneath her chin and guided her gaze back to his. “There was a time I thought I would never get over my wife. I mean the idea of,” he swallowed, “being hurt that way again. It wasn’t until I met you that I finally for the first time in a long time thought I could get close to somebody. You made me feel even when I didn’t want to.”

Vala wet her lips and confessed. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you after the first time we met.” She swallowed nervously. “So much happened after I found you and then I found myself a galaxy away. However, nothing changed. I still couldn’t stop thinking about you, only this time it was much worse. I was unable to stop missing the real man, not just an idea I daydreamed about.”

“I missed you too,” he said and then shrugged, “though I probably would have denied it.”

Vala tightened her grip on the front of his black t-shirt, “Daniel, I want you to know how much your trust means to me and I think I’ve earned it on a professional level at least. I mean you’ve said…”

Daniel interrupted, nodding his head. “You have.”

A quick smile of relief jumped out before she continued solemnly. “I hope that someday you will believe that on a personal level.” She rushed ahead, “Maybe you don’t know it now, but you can believe it when I say you mean everything to me and that is not going to change.” Feeling exposed and vulnerable, she dropped her gaze.

“Hey,” he said softly. Vala kept staring at his shoulder. “Look at me,” he insisted, waiting a few seconds until she did. “I know,” he told her. “I know.”

She stayed lost, happily floating in the loving wonder she saw in his eyes until he cocked his head and smirked.

“You know,” Daniel said sounding philosophical, “the only thing keeping our conversation from being an official declaration of mutual intentions is the lack of an outwardly visible seal of affection.”

A puzzled line appeared on her forehead.

“A kiss, Vala,” he explained.

“A kiss?” She repeated feeling inexplicably shy.

Daniel nodded. He cupped the side of her face and fixed his attention on her mouth. With his other hand, he lightly traced her slightly parted lips before smoothing his hand along side of her face and burying it in her cool, ebony hair. Vala flicked her eyes between his lips and his eyes as he moved closer. She felt the moist heat of his breath on her lips just before his claimed hers. Tenderly, but not hesitantly he explored her softness. A tiny whimpering sound escaped and her hand fluttered gently against his neck. He kissed her again tasting her sweetness before pulling back and memorizing her face.

His lips stopped touching hers, but she could still feel their imprint. Her head was spinning and her heart pounding. Slowly she opened her eyes. The pleased smile on Daniel’s face deepened when she met his eyes. Any shields left around her heart fell away in the onslaught on his affectionate gaze. “You better not be messing with me,” she threatened and begged at the same time.

“I take my feelings for you very seriously. I’m playing for keeps. How about you?”

Joy bubbled up and extending out even to her fingertips. She threw her arms around his neck and drew him close for another intense kiss. When their lips parted for air she whispered, “Ask me again in fifty or sixty years.”

Daniel & Vala fiction, Together

2007-04-04T02:33:12Z

Title: Together
Author: Bkwurm1
Pairing: Daniel &Vala
Series: Stargate SG1
Spoilers: Dominion and Unending
Rating: PG
Chapters: 2
Status: Complete

Posted over on FFnet mid March and thought I'd practice my posting skills with this. Ship Ahoy!

Chapter 1

Author’s Note: Spoilers for Dominion and Unending. I felt that Vala seemed truly devastated by what she thought happened to her, too devastated to quickly recover without lingering affect. That idea merged with a wrap up for Unending. Taking place a few weeks after Unending, Vala is having trouble dealing with the memories implanted in her mind and how she reacted to them. Daniel comforts. Oh so shippy!

Disclaimers: Yes, they are mine! No? They’re MGM’s? Can I barrow them? Pleas

Daniel watched as Vala abandoned her tray on a nearby table and fled the commissary; her face was pale and stricken and her gait was unsteady. Without a word of explanation to the rest of the team, he pushed back his chair, jumped up in the middle of what Col. Mitchell was saying and went after her

“Hey, where’s he going?” Cameron wondered aloud, perturbed at the interruption. “My camping story isn’t that dull.”

“I don’t know,” Sam replied looking around the cafeteria, “but Vala’s gone too and she was just heading this way.” Teal’c raised an eyebrow and Cameron nodded. The team exchanged looks, shrugged and went back to eating. They all knew that wherever Vala had disappeared, Daniel was sure to be close by. That’s just how their relationship worked.

Sam was not positive they were even aware of their actions, especially Daniel, but both he and Vala invariably migrated toward each other. Whether it was just the team or in a larger crowd, they usually stayed as near to the other as possible. They virtually always sat side by side at briefings; it didn’t matter if Daniel or Vala came in first, they just ended up together.

Lately, Sam also had noticed their tendency to glance over at the other whenever any momentous news or happenings occurred. Somehow, they were better able to gauge and process whatever the situation was together, than on their own.

Mitchell found himself typically pairing them when the team went off world. If anyone asked him why, he gave two reasons. One, their respective skills complemented nicely and, two, he knew they were practically incapable of not watching each other’s back. In the early days when forced proximity due to the effects of the bracelets brought constant sessions of sniping and arguing, he never would have expected to see them seek out the company of the other so instinctively.

So far, the arrangement made for smooth missions. Well, as smooth as their missions ever went. Daniel kept Vala from being too reckless and Vala’s highly practical side, surprising as that had been to discover, made sure Daniel kept his head out of the clouds or during the times when that was impossible even for her, at least Cameron knew she would protect her charge at all costs.

Teal’c just smiled enigmatically. He had been doing that a lot around Daniel and Vala since they returned from their final meeting with the Asgard.

No one was overly concerned about the pair’s unexpected disappearance. The team knew from experience Daniel would shortly be back with Vala in tow.

Daniel, unaware of his predictable nature, checked several corridors before finding Vala leaning with her arm stretched out for support against one of the metal beams that segmented the grey hallways. His concern increased and he called out her name even as he picked up the pace and jogged toward her.

She stiffened at the sound of his voice and pushed away from the wall. With her spine rigid, she walked determinedly away, not even glancing behind. Daniel slowed down and scowled. He knew she heard him. He called out again, “Vala! Wait, stop!”

Still moving down the hall, she called back to him. “I’m fine Daniel.” He took no notice of her words and closed the distance between them, grabbing her upper arm when he reached her.

She spun around in his grasp, but made no effort to look up. Her eyes were closed and her mouth pursed in a hard line. Daniel grasped her shoulders and leaned close. “Vala, what’s wrong.”

She shook her head and swallowed hard, her eyes remaining closed. “It’s nothing, really. I’m fine.” Her voice was low and broken.

Daniel clenched his jaw in frustration. “You’re pale, you’re trembling, and you won’t look at me. You are not fine. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Vala opened her eyes and looked up and to the side, blinking rapidly and avoiding Daniel’s direct gaze. “It is nothing. I’m just overacting.” The corners of her mouth twisted and pulled down sharply. Vala lifted her hands and buried her face in them.

A group of marines walked past glancing over at an obviously upset Vala. Eager to get her out of the limelight, Daniel took her by the elbow and led her a few doors down to Sam’s lab. He pulled her in and closed the door for privacy. He flipped a switch and couple of recessed lights turned on, leaving the room neither dark nor bright.

Vala walked listlessly over to the counter and absently sat on the high stool nearby. Daniel clenched his fists trying to deny the stab of hurt he felt just seeing her despondent and pained. His Vala was lively and flittered about like a hummingbird with bright flashes of color; she did not move like an old crone feeling the burden of life’s regret weighing heavily on her shoulders and painfully in her joints.

The urge rolled over him to wrap his arms around her and pull her close. He closed his eyes and fought for self-control. This was a colleague; they worked together. He shook his head, the strangeness of it all hitting him fresh.

They worked together, were on the same team, and he trusted her with his life – his team’s lives- when little over two years ago the only position at the SGC Vala could have filled was as a prisoner occupying a cell. He struggled to keep his distance, winning only the war against enveloping her in his arms. He came up behind her and boxed her in by placing a hand on the counter top to each side of hips. He leaned forward and spoke into her ear. “Tell me what’s wrong.” Vala shivered.

Vala twisted her head to look over her shoulder at Daniel and answered. She felt a need to tell him even while feeling foolish. “I ran into Col. Reynolds back in the cafeteria. I haven’t seen him since…” Daniel squinted and shook his head slightly, not understanding what she was trying to say. Vala elaborated. “He was the appointed team leader over Sg3 and 8 for the mission to search for the Clava Thessara Infinitas. You know, the mission where they were ambushed by the Ori solders and two marines were killed?”

Daniel squeezed one of her shoulders. “Vala, you know that mission never happened, it’s just an implanted memory in your head. No one died.”

She nodded. “I know in reality it never happened, but in my mind, I can still play it over and over.” Vala shrugged, “It’s been more than a month and my memories are dulling, but today I walk in to the lunchroom, see Col. Renolds, and add flashbacks to my list of eccentricities.” She tried to smile and failed.

Vala stared intently at her clasped hands. “I saw Col. Reynolds, a man who in my memory blames me directly for the death of two teammates and now because of that blasted flashback, I can recall vividly just how much he hates me - with a righteous fire burning deep in his soul. I’ve seen that look before.” She peeked over her shoulder again. “Qe’tesh deserved that look and on that day at the gate, most of Star Gate Command thought I deserved it too.”

Daniel grabbed another stool and scooted next to her. He gave into his need to touch her without being ready to know why he needed it. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. “Vala, none of that was real. No one hates you.” She laughed a little and leaned against him. “Well, no one at the SGC.” Laying her head on his shoulder, Daniel felt some of the stiff tension drain out her body.

“I know. I do. I told you I wasn’t being rational,” Vala lifted her head and looked at him, “but this isn’t about what I know, this is about what that whole episode is still making me feel. I know it was my idea, but I couldn’t have known.” Vala hung her head.

Daniel brushed an errant strand of hair off her forehead. “Couldn’t have known what?” He asked softly.

“How bad it would be.” She looked up, her eyes glistening. “I wasn’t prepared; didn’t have the same defenses I once had. I must have thought I’d be angry and defiant, not ...” She shook her head appalled how weak she was sounding.

Half-smiling, Daniel commented, “I seem to remember you doing your best to kick my head off after we insisted you come home. You seemed pretty angry to me.”

Vala sat up and turned so she could look at Daniel. “Yes, then I could be angry, but before there was no point.”

He scrunched up his forehead. “I’m confused, why could you all of a sudden be angry?”

“You said it was a part of a plan,” she said simply.

“What?”

“The moment Adria and I stepped through the Stargate you said it was all part of the plan.”

“Yes and you didn’t believe me.” Daniel pushed up his glasses and crossed his arms. “In fact, I think you said not to ever speak to you every again.”

“Exactly.” She beamed at him.

“Vala.” He said, his patience wearing thin.

She sighed and closed her eyes. She wrapped her arms about her torso and rubbed her upper arms, sorely missing the weight and heat that had come from Daniel’s protective embrace. Subdued, she explained, feeling strangely compelled to say what normally she would hide. “I thought I would never see you again. I thought that the life I wanted to lead was over. Then poof, there you were, all of you,” a ghost of a smile played on her lips, “albeit with guns pointed in my direction, but you said it was all part of the plan.”

She opened her eyes and looked into Daniel’s compassionate blue ones. Her voice became deep and husky. “I had hope. You gave me hope, and well, betrayal and abandonment with any measure of hope is a far different creature than one without. Do you know, I think there was an actual moment when Adria felt sorry for me?” She dropped her hands into her lap and a weak laugh escaped. “Talk about a low point in my life.”

Daniel took her hands in his. Her fingers were ice cold. He held them together between his palms trying to transfer heat. Frowning, he studied Vala. Her shoulders were bowed forward and her upper body hunched over. That brittle tension he had seen in the hallway was back. She hadn’t told him something. “But why did you run out of the cafeteria? What was it? It’s more than just the implanted memories isn’t it?”

Vala nodded but did not answer. “Hey,” he said gently and cupped the side of her face, raising her chin so she would look at him, “it’s me, Daniel. You can tell me.”

Something deep and pure twisted near her heart and she blinked rapidly, fighting the sting of tears. On a barely audible sigh, she spoke his name like a caress, “My Daniel,” and tenderly traced the edge of his jaw line with the back of her fingers.

“Tell me,” he urged, not knowing whether her words or caress made his heart pound more.

Vala let her hand fall to her lap. “I gave up.”

Daniel shook his head not understanding.

“I stopped fighting. It hurt too much,” she confessed. “Col. Reynolds came back through the gate and for a moment looked like he wanted to tear me apart. I stepped back. I hid behind you. Then when the IOA was turning in its decision, I didn’t argue or scream, I just crumpled and ran.”

Daniel squeezed the hand he still held. “Vala, those were artificial memories, that wasn’t you.”

“Part of it was me. I asked Sam about the device. It interacts with the subject’s subconscious to create the most believable version of a programmed scenario. That way the conscious mind is less apt to reject the new memories. In those memories, I reacted the way I would if it had been real and I chose to give up.”

“That’s not what happened,” Daniel tried to interject, but Vala ignored him.

“I was so desperate to get far away, I, in an attempt to win a cargo ship, cheated in a card game on Xylon. On Xylon!” She exclaimed in incredulity. “If Adria hadn’t shown up when she had, I wouldn’t have had to worry about what I was going to do next. One of the eight gentlemen pointing their gun at my head would have taken care of that little dilemma.”

Daniel dropped her hand and stood up. That hadn’t been in her report. His eyes narrowed and he took off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose. “You cheated.”

“Yes.”

“On a planet known for taking its gaming very seriously.”

“Yes.”

Daniel cocked his head and asked almost conversationally, “Do you usually cheat at cards? Is that why you almost always clean up at poker?”

“Lord no, I’ve never had to cheat playing with anyone here.”

Daniel put his glasses back on and took a steadying breath before asking, “Then why on Xylon?” His fear and anxiety over what could have happened seeped into the rising tone of his voice. “Why on a Planet that has a reputation of meting out grave punishment? Why?” He demanded, barely keeping his temper under control.

Vala threw her hands up in the air as she stood up and began to pace. “I was upset. I couldn’t concentrate and I was so frantic to get away and get free that I took the risk.”

Daniel turned his back on her and savagely raked his hands through his hair. “You could have been killed!” He shouted.

“I didn’t care!” She yelled back.

<a href= "http://bkwurm1.livejournal.com/1407.html">Together: Chapter Two. </a>

Together: Chapter Two.

The upcoming Daniel/Vala season

2007-04-04T01:19:04Z

Still an ignorant ninny when it comes to posting a story, but I'm over the top excited to stumble on the upcoming plans for a virtual season of Stargate, starring none other than the eminent Dr. Daniel Jackson and the effervescent Vala Mal Doran, retired thief extraordinaire.

They have a great premise; good enough that I'm sitting trying to figure out just what could be the root of all the action, instead of typing anything of interest to anyone besides myself or the cat. (likes to lie on the keyboard- irritating, but I get to blame all typos on the vicious, green-eyed kitty)

I'll have to warm up to the random chronicling of my life. I can't just dismiss it and say it's too dull to write about, I know the trick is to find the angles and view it through those lenses. Then the mundane and ordinary will be reflected back on a myriad of levels.

Haven't found the trick yet.

Bkwurm1

bkwurm1 @ 2007-04-01T22:47:00

2007-04-02T03:48:31Z

I've been lured over by the community of Daniel and Vala shippers, not to mention all the love shown to a particular little episode entitled Unending. I'm so ridiculously happy for all the fan fiction getting posted because I don't want to let this ship sail. (Ha! My first really lame pun of the day)

Hopefully once I figure out how to do it, I'll add a few contributions to the right pages. For now it is a huge step for me just to have a entry attached to my name.